


i can see your halo

by louishqrry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Witchcraft, idek if this is considered witchcraft, they are seers so i guess it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-02 15:22:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 26,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14547663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louishqrry/pseuds/louishqrry
Summary: "No worries! I only buy the cute ones a coffee so consider yourself as one." He says propping his arms to the table. His shirt is four buttons open so Louis can see a bird or whatever tattoos on his chest. Well, things just took a turn.Louis sips on his coffee and hums in response."I'm Harry." He extends his hand. Louis reaches out to meet him halfway and it’s not like Louis noticed how soft his hand is."Louis." He withdraws his hand and tucks it away from Harry’s skin."Is it a loo-wi ending with an 'e' or a loo-wi ending with an 's'?" Harry furrows his eyebrows while biting on his bottom lip. Louis just wants to punch his face. He knows how to look cute. Damn."Ending with an 's'." He chuckles. He gives him his winning smile, the one with crinkly eyes.....or the one where louis can't move on from his past, harry is his newfound distraction, and everyone is involved in some kind of witchcraft or magic (whatever you call it) shit, which is seeing people's death.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ok so hi im back with my so-called writing skills. well, i've been working on this one for a year now and i dont really know what i'm doing but hey this is a 55k (and counting) mess so i hope you'll like it.
> 
> just to be clear here: (1) pardon my grammar cos english isn't my mother tongue (2) this is unedited (3) i dont own the boys of course and this is purely from my imagination (4) i didnt copy any plot from any show or story or whatever. it's probably coincidental cos i've worked hard to come up with this plot so yeah (5) this probably sucks
> 
> and lastly, shoutout to my friend erin for supporting me from the very start! a true hero !
> 
> please leave kudos if you like or comments! violent reactions are also welcome !
> 
> i'll update every week (if anyone actually cares) ok thanks! and have fun!

He is not an angel nor a demon and nope, he didn't come from heaven or hell either. He looks like a normal guy strolling down the streets of London but he can see things that a normal guy strolling down the streets of London can't see.

Louis is a seer, a death seer to be exact. Well, a seer is someone who can see these red, yellow, orange and green halos on top of people's head and yes, like a stoplight. A glowing green halo means that that person’s death is not yet calculated, a bright orange halo means that that person has less than 10 years to live, a sunny yellow halo indicates that that person has less than a year to live and a pulsing red halo means that that person has only hours or minutes or seconds before death comes.

But it's not consistent, a green halo can change to a pulsing red and a sunny yellow can turn to a green halo. A seer can postpone death but they can't cheat death.

Louis makes a beeline to the bathroom, it's 10 in the morning and he needs to meet the boys in the Eye. He goes to the sink, half asleep and half awake, to rinse his face of the drool. God, he hates himself for drooling because he needs to change pillowcases again for the third time this week.

Aside from death seers, there are also dream seers, future seers, and mind seers, and the Uppers possess them all. They are the gifted ones and they were born to be magical until the end of the world.

Louis does his bathroom duties then walks to the closet to look for some decent clothes but he doesn’t notice the slightly crooked wood in his floor causing him to stub his toe.

"Ah, fuck!" Louis groans. "Fucking hell!". He lifts his left leg and props it to his right knee. He sees the damage and now he has a swollen toe.

He limps his way to his closet and picks a v-neck shirt and a black skinny jeans. He slips his right leg first then carefully lifts his left leg to slip it on the other hole but unluckily, Louis loses his balance. He shifts his weight from his right leg to his left one causing him to groan in pain when his stubbed toe touches the creaking hardwood floor.

"Shit!" Louis moans out when his back hit the soft sheets of his twin-size bed. "Could this day get anymore worst?" He says while he sprawls out his arms on the bed with jeans half undone.

A few more grunts later, Louis finally buttons his jeans. He checks himself in the mirror and touches the necklace that falls in the middle of his sternum. The pendant is looped in a rope-like string used by people from islands, it is also shaped like a teeth of a great white shark with horizontal black stripes circling it. He reaches out for his shirt then slips it on his head and arms.

"Another day, another death!" Louis jokes in front of the mirror, the pendant is visible for the eyes of anyone because it falls just right above the collar of his shirt. For the last twelve years of his life, he's grown used to seeing people's death and saving those that he can.

The number of people that he postponed deaths from the past ten years is not really a lot. He's not much of a hero, well maybe before but not anymore. He's not like Liam, who postpones death six ways to Sunday. He's not Niall, who sworn to delay death of at least 10 people a month. Most definitely, Zayn, no he's not Z, no way he could be. Zayn sacrificed his own life for someone he loves. He gave his pendant to Laura because she had stage 4 bone cancer and it's impossible for her to live but Zayn loved her too much that he sacrificed his own life for her to live, Laura is now a seer like them.

Well, yes, they can save lives but in return is their own life. But, no, seers never die unless they remove their necklaces, which is unlawful. They reincarnate but they do not have any memory of their past life. They cannot remember anything aside from the fact that they're seer and the things that go with it.

Louis grabs his leather wallet then turns towards the door. The floor creaks as he made his way out of the room. He lives in a cheap flat near the subway, and although he can afford a larger and nicer place, he refuses to spend his money on fancy materials but now that he has a swollen toe, he actually rethinks his decisions in life.

He steps out of his apartment and walks towards the subway. He hates the subway, actually, he hates crowded places. One, because it makes him nauseous and two, because he sees so much halos and it makes his head hurt so much.

Louis turns to his left and he can see people pouring out of the subway. As he approach them, he can see the glowing halos. For today, he can see a lot of green and orange halos. “Thank God.” He mutters to himself. Louis sees a girl wearing a denim skirt and a white v-neck shirt that has a glowing green on top of her head and Louis feels relieve. He feels guilty whenever he sees young people with bright red halos.

As Louis walks towards throng of busy and hasty people, he can see different colors glowing. God, he hates this.

A man wearing a navy blue suit with his hair pushed back is holding a briefcase on his left hand and a phone on his right. He has a disappointed look on his face and he is gritting his teeth as if he's controlling himself to not scream at the one he is talking. Louis can see a glowing red as he approaches him.

The man is now on the verge of screaming when he and Louis bump shoulders.

He braces himself.

Louis felt his head float and his body go numb. Suddenly, he can't see the subway people anymore. In front of him are tall buildings and skyscrapers. There's a long mahogany table on his right and a good number of leathered seats and on his left, he can see a small table with pitcher of water and other drinks. From below, the large number of people are walking hastily in the streets making him pretty sure it's London. His attention is caught by an unfamiliar voice.

"No, Joe! You can't do this to me! I've been working here ever since and you'll just replace me with this..." The man trails as he gestures to the clean cut boy. He might be around his late 20's. The man waves his hands frantically to the younger man. "...this young, unexperience boy! He doesn't even know anything!"

The man flailing his arms was the same man in the subway and Louis figures that he might be seeing his death. Another man wearing a black suit, who he guesses is Joe and around the age of the man from the subway, stands from where he is sitting and steps closer. "Chris, I know we've been good friends ever since but let's accept it, you're old and I need a younger man to be my-"

"Your what? Boytoy?" Chris smirks.

Joe chuckles. "Chris, oh Chris, is that how desperate you are?" He snorts and slowly shakes his head. He sits to his leathered chair on the other end of the table and reaches out to his glass half full of, what Louis guesses is, rum. "How about we end this petty discussion yeah? Chris, I'm sorry. I know we've been good friends but things have taken some turns." He looks at the younger man, who is smirking, across him. "You're fired."

"What the fuck? You can't do this to me! You can't—AH!" Chris screams in pain as he clutches the material near his heart. "Fuck- Joe- He-elp!" The man grip his suit tightly as he breathes the words out.

"Bloody hell!" Joe utters with frantic eyes.

"What do we do?" The young man across him stands from his chair and runs to Chris' side.

"Wait! Jesus Christ!" Joe paces around the room as he thought of what to do. Chris' hands still on top of his heart. "Call for medics! Yes! We need to get out and call for help! Of course!" Joe is panicking. "Fuck! Let's go!"

"Right! Right!" The young man rushes to the door with Joe behind him. Chris falls to the floor writhing in pain. Louis stands there unmoving. This is not new to him but it still makes Louis' feet glued to the ground. He can see people moving outside the conference room and Chris grip loosening.

"Watch the fuck out where you're going!" The man spat at him.

Louis thinks he forgot how to breathe. The man glances at him with a harsh look as he walks to the flow of people going out the subway.

He feels nauseous. He steps in the train then found a seat near the door. He sits there with his eyes close blocking all the halos that his sight can reach.

"Shit, why did I become like this?" He mutters to himself. The rest of the ride was silent. He doesn’t try to open his eyes unless the train will stop.

Two stations away from his stop, he saw a young man across him fiddling on his shirt. He seems nervous. He is wearing a plain yellow shirt and a black skinny jeans that hugs his legs just right. A bright green halo on top of his head and Louis can't help but smile.

"You seem nervous, mate." Louis asks offering a smile to the guy. The people are slowly lessening as they approach Louis' stop.

"Uh, yeah." The guy replies biting his bottom lip. He runs his hand to his hair. "I have a date."

"A date at 11 in the morning? I'm surprise! You guys are morning people, I guess?" Louis asks with a loopsided smile and the guy smiles with his eyes crinkling. Louis finds it cute.

"Well, it's a lunch." He says while scratching the back of his head. "I'm not really sure if it's a date." He chuckles nervously.

"Oh!" Louis said just as the train stop and the doors busts open. "Oh well, this is my stop. Good luck to you mate!" Louis waves his hand and the guy smiles and waves goodbye.

Something about the guy made Louis' turn and glanced at the him again and Louis freezes. Just as the train is pulling out, the green halo on top of the boy turned into a pulsing red.

"Oh shit!" Louis runs back to the train. "Wait! Shit. Wait!" But a man wearing a security uniform stops him midway.

"Sir, you can't actually stop the train. Just ride the next one." The man says, holding tightly on Louis' arm.

Louis frees his arm from the man's grip and walks to the direction of the exit. "Fuck!” He murmurs to himself.

As soon as he steps back to the streets, he sees the halos again. Glowing green and orange took over the throng of people. This time he is careful not to bump to anyone, it's only been two hours since he left the comfort of his bed and he already wants to go home.

Only a few blocks from the Eye, he spotted a lady from a distance. She is wearing flare pants with a ribbed halter top and holding a cup in her right and a phone in her left. There's also coat hanging on his left arm. She is around his early twenties, as Louis guesses. As he came closer to her, Louis can see a pulsing red halo on top of her head. Louis feels his eyes involuntarily shut. He can do this, he can save someone.

When the lady passes his left, their shoulders brush and suddenly Louis is inside a cab next to the lady who is sipping on her cup.

“Please, The Palace Hotel." She says to the driver without giving him a glance. The man behind the wheel nods then speeds off. Louis has a feeling that the car will go circling down the streets so he braces himself for the impact but after a few minutes, it never came. Instead he hears a choking sound from the lady beside her and as he turns to her, he sees the cup is already on the car's floor. The lady is clutching on her throat and her chest is heaving as if breathing is a hard task for her. Fortunately, the driver takes notice.

"Ma'am? Are you okay?" The driver asks the lady frantically through the mirror. The lady shakes his head while making choking noise.

"H-hospital, please." The lady tries her best to make a coherent sentence. The driver immediately takes a sharp turn to the direction of the nearest hospital.

Louis sees the lady's lip turn purple. He sees how the lady's eyes turn white because of fear and Louis is right there when the noises dies down. He sees how her grip loosens and her chest stops heaving.

A loud horn resonates the street that made Louis' head turn to the direction of the lady. A cab parking in front of her. Louis sprints to her side.

“Uhm, hey!" He calls out and not knowing what to say, he flips the lady's cup and the contents spills on the ground.

"What the fuck? My boyfriend just gave that to me!" The lady screams at him. Oh, so it's the boyfriend. It’s always the boyfriend.

"Well..." Louis trails while finding a valid excuse. "Happy April Fool's Day?!" He says in an apologetic tone then he runs off to the direction of his destination. He hears the lady shout behind him. "It's fucking September!"

“A small thank you is enough, ungrateful shit! I just saved your life!” He mutters under his breath.

Louis rounds a corner careful not to bump to anyone. He saw bright green halos on top of the group of children who walked passed him and he thanks God again.

When he reaches a building with three storeys and windows covered with thick layers of dust, he immediately knocks on the door three times.

The door opens and he steps in the room. It's a typical abandoned building with spider webs everywhere, thick layers of dust on the windows, and a creaking hardwood floor. Louis walks to the supposed-to-be kitchen, and spots the vase. The Eye, as everyone calls it.

The Eye is like a station for all the death seers around the vicinity. There are ten of them including Niall, Liam, Markus, Jade, Leila, Jessica and others he doesn't really care knowing. Oh and of course their recent member, Laura, Zayn's successor. She's been a seer for three years now but she rarely joins the group.

The vase is just an ordinary vase. It is coated with white paint and some gold linings on the side, it's just a size of an average pitcher. It's not really an eye-catching vase, so for the last century, no one ever tries stealing it.

He walks closely to the vase. The place is really dusty, maybe he can convince Niall to clean the place a bit or wipe the counter at least.

Louis levels his eye to the vase. It a success he hasn’t sneeze yet and he, then, opens his mouth releasing the words out.

"O see ye that narrow road, so thick beset with thorns." He whispers slowly to the vase. He let the words roll off his mouth as gentle as possible, he probably mastered it. "The path to see the old, come and see what it holds." As the last words were spoken, he feels his body go numb. This is the part he hates the most.

He closes his eyes. He experienced this so many times that he learned to keep his eyes shut for the whole ride because it's not really a long one. Once, when Louis was still a newbie, he kept his eyes open while the whole turning and tossing happen, he literally threw up everything he ate that day and even the day after that.

It's like a black hole or loop hole, you'll feel like you're being toss and spin while you're standing straight from where you are. Next thing you know, you're in a different dimension.

The ride or as they call it, The Spin, doesn’t take too long and now, Louis is in front of the same building again. He feels a bit dizzy but he knows how to handle it, he's had worse before.

Louis walks, once again, to the door and knocks three times. The door opens and he is greeted by a beaming Niall.

"Mate! What took you so long? Got caught up with someone?" Niall asks, as he steps from the doorway to let Louis in. Niall is wearing some black jeans and a button up with eye patterns on it or as he call it, his Eye look. Louis almost choked on his bread when he heard Niall announced it one sunny afternoon, seven years ago.

"Yeah, saved this lady’s ass from dying because of a poisoned drink given by her boyfriend." Louis makes a beeline to the kitchen and he can see Liam talking to someone.

"Her boyfriend? Shit! He might be pissed right now because of you, Lou!" Niall cackles. His necklace identical to Louis, except for the red stripes, bouncing on his chest.

"Yeah? Not my fault, tho?" Glancing at Niall with his lip twitching to a smile. He realizes he'll add a new person to his list of 'Number of People Who Owe Me A Lot'. "At least, I can add someone to my long, long list."

Niall snorts. "Yeah, your long list, long long list." He says sarcastically as they enter the kitchen.

Liam sees them and waves at them. "Hey! Lou! You're late!" Liam announces, as if its not yet obvious. "Like always!” Typical Liam. Always on time, always helping everyone. He sometimes wishes he could be like Liam.

“Wow! Thanks for stating that! Such a genuis, Liam! Sometimes I wonder what I will be without your fantastic brain.” Louis backfires.

Liam rolls his eyes.

"Hey, Lou! It's been a while!" Markus stands from where he is sitting then walks towards Louis giving him a tight hug. "Where have you been?"

"The cat isn't really fond of the weather." Louis says with a smile. He walks past Markus then sits next to Liam. "You? Where d'ya go? Didn't see you for, like..." Louis trails and recalls the last time they met. "a year?"

He knows Markus ever since he joined the club. Markus was the one who taught Louis the basics of being a seer and he taught Louis want they can do and they can't do, like they can delay death but they can't stop it and they can love and marry a non-seer but they can't bear a child, the girls especially. Louis didn't find this alarming since he doesn't have any plans of going all the way and getting a girl pregnant. Markus was there ever since Astin left. Sometimes he wonders how the hell Markus found him but then maybe it’s destiny’s work.

Markus sits on his stool while Niall raids the refrigerator. "I've been away..." Markus says in a very dramatic tone.

"Yeah, we can see that. With the tan skin and burnt cheeks."

Markus laughs. "I was on a vacation!" He exclaims while biting on his cupcake. Liam is just staring and listening to both of them while he munches happily on his chips. "And stop being a drama queen, it's only three months!"

"Felt like a year to me! But wait, is there really a vacation from all of these?" Louis asks while flailing his arms. "Like I really need a break! Twelve years, Mark! Twelve years and I never had a vacation!"

Markus snorts, bits of the cupcake shoots out of his mouth. Louis and Liam scrunches their noses then laughs when they realized they did it in unison. "I'll ask the Uppers for your vacation, don't worry!"

The Uppers, the people of their government. The lawmakers, peacemakers and bullshitmakers. Well, Louis kinda like them. They're considerate and kind, sometimes. Actually, he can't really hate them. They are the ones who feed him anyway.

The statement made Niall perk his head from the refrigerator. "Oi! I've been here longer than Lou! I need a vacation too!" Niall walks to them, a strawberry jam and nutella in his hands.

"Me too!" Liam adds while lifting his chips and downing the remaining in his mouth. "I want a break too!"

"But Liam, you can't help anyone!" Louis wiggles his eyebrows.

Liam's eyes widens, "Oh My God! I can't?" He fake gasps making all the boys cackle.

"I can't believe that you’re still haven't awarded as the Most Valuable Seer of the Year!" Markus exclaims, clutching his stomach.

"Is that even a thing?" Louis asks Markus in between his laughs. Niall just moves on from laughing to dipping his fingers to nutella then licking his fingers clean. "Niall, that's gross!" Louis swats Niall’s arm away from the jar. Niall grunts.

"Fuck off!" Niall says as he licks the jam in his pointer finger. Louis grimaces while Markus laughs louder.

"Okay, now now! Why did you call me? I mean, why am I here?" Louis asks after the laughs died down. Liam has now open another chip and Niall moved from jam to nutella again. Markus stands from his stool to get himself a carton of orange juice. "What's the important issue to be discuss?"

Markus gets two glasses and slides the other to him. Louis watches as the translucent glass turns into bright orange. "Well, this is a surprising news." Markus begins as he sips on his juice. He looks at Louis through the glass. "I know we've been looking for him for the last three years and..." Markus trails.

"Wait! What do you mean?" Louis looks at Markus then to Niall then to Liam. They seem to know something. Liam slowly stop munching and Niall stop licking midway his finger.

"We found Zayn." Markus says without blinking. Everyone stops breathing for a moment.

"What?!" Louis almost chokes on his own saliva. "Where? Oh my God! Can he remember us? Does he know his own name? Is he al-"

"Slow down, Lou." Niall says. His fingers are now squeaky clean. "He's fine, yes." Niall opens the fridge to return the jam and nutella. Louis grimaces. "But he... he can't remember us. Not a thing."

"Oh."

Finding a lost friend is not an easy job, especially when that said friend has no memory of you and his brain wiped out of any trace of knowledge about his previous life.

"Yeah. It's actually shit. I want to hug him the minute we saw him but he has... new friends. And he didn't even recognized us!" Liam shrugs but there are tears building in his eyes.

Louis pulls Liam to give him a side hug. Zayn was Liam's best friend. They joined the society the same year then three years after Niall came followed by Louis two years later. Liam was the most devastated when Zayn made his decision. He talked him out of it but Z made his mind up. No one can talked him out of it, not even Markus.

"Hey, I'm pretty sure we can find some way to make him remember anything?" Louis looks at Markus questioningly. Niall shrugs and reaches for Louis’ glass and drinking the remaining juice.

"I don't know, to be honest." Markus confesses. "Rumour has it that when you sacrifice yourself, you'll see The Uppers. What happens there is still a mystery."

"Maybe, they erase your memories.." Niall tilts his head. Liam sitting straight and poking on his chips. "And then they torture you until you forget your past life?"

Louis winces. "That's very brutal, Niall." He takes his glass back then pours himself some juice. Markus does the same.

Another thing that makes The Uppers special is their control over anything and anyone. Seers can't control other seers because they only have power over normal people.

"Yeah, I don't think they'll do that? I mean, we're like a family, right?" Markus adds. He now left his glass on the table. Liam propping his elbows to place his chin on top of his hands.

"Niall could be right? Maybe that's the main reason why you can count on your fingers the number of people who sacrificed themselves." Liam finally speaks.

The four boys sit in silence. Niall tracing circles on the kitchen island, Markus fake reading the benefits of the orange juice at the back of the carton, Liam staring down and swinging his feet, and Louis playing with the fog on his glass. Their silence last for a full minute before they hear the door open. The boys perk up to see who the newcomer is until the footsteps become closer revealing Jade.

"Oh hey, guys!" She cheerily greets the boys but the boys just blink up to her. She must've noticed the tension inside the room. "Oh. Am I interrupting something?"

Louis is the first to speak. "No! No! Actually, we just finished eating snacks!" He says while grinning. Jade is holding a paper bag of what Louis thinks is food. "What you got there?"

Jade lifts her paper bag, "Oh! I got some Chinese? Thought I could share it with anyone here so..." She side looks at Niall as he stands from his seat.

"Thank God! I'm starving!" Niall hollers. Jade puts her paper bag and takes out the contents. "It smells so damn nice!"

"Easy there, Nialler! You're a seer, Niall! Not an eater!" Liam swats Nialls arm.

“You guys keep on swatting my arms! Don’t think I don’t notice!”

Louis sticks his tongue out.

“God! I’m living with a bunch of children!” Markus exclaims making everyone laugh.

“I believe I’m not.” Liam says as he stand to get plates and utensils for everyone. Markus just snorts back.

"Are eaters a thing? I'll probably switch to it!" Niall butts in.

"And what you gonna do?" Louis asks. He takes a plate from Liam and stands to get some forks. "You gonna eat foods to know if they have poison? Or nutritious enough? Gonna save people from being unhealthy?" Louis taunts, laughing.

"Yes, Louis, yes." Niall grins, actually liking the idea. "I like that. Is there any eaters out there, Markus?" Turning to Markus and giving him a grin.

"Last time, I checked..." Markus trails, looking at the ceiling pretending to think hard. "Well, last time I checked, there's none. But! I'll update you if they're planning to build one."

"Yes! Thank you, Markus! You are the only friend I have here.” He pats his shoulder as Louis fake gasps and tries to look offended.

They starts digging in the takeaway.

"You..." Louis points his fork to Jade. "are an angel!"

A blush creeps up Jade's cheeks. "You're only saying that so I'll bring you more the next time!"

"That..." Louis trails.

"Is actually right!" Niall exclaims with food shooting out his mouth. "I'm actually surprised it didn't taste like The Spin!"

"Does it even have a taste? Like The Spin?" Liam asks, spoon midway to his mouth.

"I stick my tongue out during The Spin!"

"That's fucking gross!" All of them say in unison then laughing afterwards.

The lunch went on and so are the stories, they didn't even notice that it's already half past three. They are already packing up to go home when Markus decides to bring up a news.

"Oh! Do you know that one of The Uppers has a child?" Markus asks out of the blue. Niall is in the sofa, Jade is in the dishes with Liam and Louis is wiping the countertop.

All of them perk up and give Markus a "What?!” face.

"So one of the Uppers had a thing with a seer? Cause we can't produce a kid, right? With normal people?" Jade asks. She stops washing the dishes and walks straight up to Markus.

"But rumours had it, one of them had an affair with a human? Not a seer, tho?" Louis adds.

Markus nods. "Yeah, that's what I heard too! I was surprised to be honest! But yeah, one of them has a child." Louis and Jade look at each other. Liam stays in the dishes but still listening intently on the conversation. Niall appears on the kitchen with his hips against the doorway.

"Oh! As if we'll actually meet them!" Niall said. "He is probably swimming in his bath tub full of milk and diamond." Niall smirks. All of them laugh and continue what they're doing.

"Probably." Louis mutters.

The five pack things up then heads to the door. They stand outside and said the magic words in unison. "O see ye that narrow road, so thick beset with thorns. The path to see the old, come and see what it holds." The Spin was quick and didn't really feel sickening. As they step out of the back door of the apartment, their necklaces started to glow.

"Oh just look at that, our necklaces missed the outside world!" Markus exclaims earning a laugh from the four.

The necklaces glow when a seer is nearby, it's like a reaction and sometimes a warning.

"I'm gonna head home. How about you guys?" Liam asks looking at each of them. He fixes his shoulder bag and checks if he forgot something.

"Maybe I'll take a walk or something or just head home too." Louis answers, pocketing his hands in his jeans. "You, Jade?"

"Uhhh—"

"We'll go somewhere!" Niall butts in.

"Okay then! Have fun, you two!" Louis chirps.

"Bye guys! I'll see you all soon!" Liam walks away from them then turns to the first block while the four walk to the direction opposite to Liam.

"Uhm, I think we'll turn here." Niall announces while scratching the back of his head. The two boys smirk while Jade's cheeks heat up.

"You go, we'll be fine!" Markus says, nodding to them while Louis gives two thumbs up.

The two turn the corner and the other two continue walking. "You know, he's been pining for her, right?" He says chuckling.

Louis nods, kicking a stone. The stone flies away and almost hit a window, Louis winces. "Yeah, good thing he finally had the balls to ask her out!"

Markus nods and hums in reply.

They approach the main street. People going in and out of cabs with glowing green and orange halos on their heads. The two walk in silence observing the people around them and their necklaces glowing on top of their chests. Markus' necklace is glowing a bright blue and Louis' is a shining black.

"Still wonderin, why you chose that color." Markus says out of the blue while observing the throngs of people going out the subway. Glowing green, orange and yellow everywhere and Louis feels overwhelm.

"I just love it, you know." The honesty in his voice is visible. "...reflects myself."

Markus turns his head, too fast for his own liking. "What? You feel lonely and sad?"

"'S not really like that. You know why."

"Talk to me, yeah?" Markus looks at Louis eyes. "We're here for you. Always." He gives him a soft, reassuring smile.

"Yeah, I know. I'm really glad I found you guys." He chuckles, trying to lighten up the mood.

Markus snorts. "Gotta thank Astin, then." He glances at the train. "Wherever he is, I’m pretty sure he is happy for you."

Louis nods but immediately feels a wave of nostalgia. Astin changed his life. If it wasn’t for him, he’s probably dead as fuck right now because of his stepmom. Astin literally saved his life.

Markus feels the tension build up and he knows how Louis hates it when someone brings up his life before. It was traumatic for him. “I’m sorry I brought it up. It was insensitive of me.”

“It’s okay. You’re right, gotta thank Astin for saving my ass.” Louis looks at Markus with a stiff smile.

Having a stepmom who has factitious disorder by proxy is not really a fond experience for anyone. He was almost killed by poison once. Louis never really wants to relive that experience.

Astin entering his life is one of the few blessings in his life. He helped him get through everything and he made it seem like it’s all just a bad dream (thanks to his mystical powers). Louis can’t thank him enough.

The pair step in the train and sit near the door. Louis stays silent for a minute until Markus taps his knee. “Don’t worry, we got you always, yeah? We’ll look after you.”

Louis fiddles on the loose strand on the bottom of his shirt and leans his head on the window then looks at Markus. "I- Thank you for looking after me especially during my dark days." Louis stifles a laugh. "I mean, you don't really have to. I’m not a baby." He gives him a weak smile.

"It's okay, I'm here for anyone who needs help. We are a family, right?" Markus puts his hand over Louis' thighs. "I think you should get yourself someone, mate. I mean, someone who can take care of you again and someone you can care about. You're missin a lot on life. Five years, Lou, five years! I'm actually surprise you lasted that long." Markus jokes with a chuckle.

Louis swats Markus arm. "Fuck off!" He tries sounding to be serious but his lips twitch into a smile. He rubs his temple. "Maybe, someday. When... I'm ready... again."

"Take your time, Lou. There's no rush. I just wanna see you genuinely happy again."

"I'll get there." Louis chirps while smiling fondly to Markus. He knows Markus only wants what's best for him. He can't really argue with him but not now.

Markus' stop came and they bid their goodbyes. Two stations after, Louis steps off the train and walks to the direction of his cheap apartment. He swims on the throng of green halos. Good, he doesn't want to see any future deaths. He's had two today, that's enough.

Louis fumbles on his keys and opens the door. He makes a beeline to his bed careful not to stub his toe for the second time that day. It's only five in the afternoon but he already feels exhausted so he climbs higher to the bed and pulls the duvet up his shoulder.

He thought about what Markus said for a while. It's been five years and he knows it himself but it's too soon. Too soon. He doesn't even know if he'll be ready ever again. He'll get there someday.

He decided that he could use some recharging, he could use some nap. A power nap.

******

Louis stirs from his sleep, he can feel the duvet slipped from his side until it falls to the floor with a soft thud leaving his skin exposed to the cold air. He turns to his right, away from the window then brought his knees up to his chest.

Louis groans, he might slightly forgot to close the window when he fell asleep last night causing the cold November air  to cling on his skin.

He turns again to his left and reaches out for the duvet on the floor. He doesn’t even bother opening his eyes while doing so and wraps his duvet around himself, warming the muscles of his own body.

It's been two weeks since he last saw the boys, two weeks since he last left his house and two weeks of no progress on Zayn.

The last two weeks has been composed of him lying on his bed, eating chips and other unhealthy foods, watching the telly, and sleeping, lots of sleeping.

Louis feels his phone vibrate on his bedside table. He stretches his arms out and uses his well-developed stereognosis skill to find his phone. The phone doesn’t stop vibrating.

"It's..." Louis trails, mumbling to himself. He opens his right eye to look at the adjacent clock. "It's 8 in the fuckin’ morning."

When he finally found his phone, he reaches for it and held it in front of him, careful not to drop it on his face. He squints his eyes when a beam of sunlight entered the room and reflected on his mirror, leaving the curtains useless. The phone stops vibrating.

It is a call from Liam. He wonders why he is calling at this time of day so he texted him.

_hey why did u call? emergency? everything good?_

After sending the message, he sits up then rubs his eyes. He had, like, 9 hours of sleep. Not bad, he thinks. He stands from his bed then heads to the bathroom, leaving the phone on his bedside table.

Louis is living in this room for over 5 years now. He has a small kitchen that’s rarely use because he doesn’t bother cooking plus he almost put his last apartment on fire, thank God, Liam got an extinguisher with him that day (Louis still have no idea why he brought one). He has a small bathroom with a little tub, a twin-sized bed, a telly, and a refrigerator. He doesn't have much because he doesn't really need much.

After his bathroom antics, he heads to his drawer, near his window, with a towel on his waist. His phone vibrates on his table so he walks back to his bed then reaches out to his phone and slides his thumb on his screen.

"'Lo?" Louis greeted in his most cheerful voice at 8:30 in the morning.

"Why are you so grumpy?" Liam asks. He can hear a swoosh of air on the other line.

Louis makes a beeline to his closet and rummages through the rack. "I can give you a million reasons why but it's too fucking early."

He picks a black skinny jeans that hugs his thighs just right and a green adidas hoodie that's a bit oversized on him.

"Well, I'm just going to check on you! Make sure you're alive and all." Louis snorts. He can hear horns from the other line so Louis guesses Liam is somewhere in the streets. He walks back to his bed to place his clothes and once again after two weeks, he stubs his toe.

"FUCK!" Louis screams. He tucks his phone between his shoulders and right ear while he lifts his right foot and jumps on his left foot.

Louis hears a strong screech from the other line."What the hell? Are you having a morning orgy? Jesus Christ, Lou! Is that why you're grumpy? I'm not interrupting something, am I?" Liam rambles.

"No, you little shit! I stubbed my fucking toe!" Louis cries. He limps his way to his bed then checks the damage. It's a bit swollen. Louis tries touching it but he winces on the contact.

"Sorry! I just thought you're dating again..." Liam trails. A loud car horn cut through the line.

"I'm not, Liam." Louis' voice suddenly changes. The stubbed toe completely forgotten. "I don't think I'm..." He trails searching for the right word. "Why are you all asking me that?" He says, completely annoyed. He reaches out to his bedside table then opens his second drawer. Last time he remembers he put the antiseptic somewhere there.

"Was it Markus?"

"How did you know?" Louis drops some antiseptic on a cotton ball then damps it in his swollen toe. He doesn't even have any idea if it works but no harm in trying.

"We might tiny bit talked about you but it's nothing bad! I swear!" Soft chattering of people can be heard from Liam's line.

"Talking behind my back now?" Louis teases.

"Not really..." Liam’s voice unsure, calculating if Louis is really mad or just teasing. He figures the latter. "But for now, go dress and we'll go somewhere you like."

"What do you mean?" Louis is puzzled. He starts to put his jeans carefully avoiding his toe, limping his way into it.

"Look outside your window!" Liam beams. Louis hurriedly buttons his jeans then puts his hoodie on and safely tucks his necklace inside. There are people strolling down the streets with glowing green halos on top of their heads. There's this girl wearing a black hoodie thumbing her phone with a bright yellow halo on top of her head and Louis feels a bit sorry for her.

Then his eyes lands on Liam.

"What the fuck?"

"Yes!" Liam is grinning so wide Louis can see it from above.

"When and where did you get that shit?" Louis' mouth is wide open. When did Liam became interested with cars? "Is that even yours?"

"This is mine!" Liam shouts from below, phone completely forgotten. "Get your arse over here!"

Louis ends the call without even looking at his phone. His eyes glued to the car beside Liam.

He shouts back to him. "I will, you bastard!" Louis sees the girl with the yellow halo rounds the corner.

He hurriedly grabs his keys and pockets his phone. He opens his top drawer for his wallet then slides it into his back pocket. He steps out of his room then locks it. His phone vibrates.

_hurry up im so excited to drive this baby!!!_

Louis types a response while he walks down the halls.

_u've been driving it idiot how tf do u think u get here_

Louis pockets back his phone and runs to the stairs. He bumps into his landlord on his way down and Louis send him a fake smile. The man smiles back and continues walking upstairs.

He isn't really fond of him. He always asks for Louis’ rent a week earlier than the others. He didn't even know how he lasted that long living in that crappy place.

When he reaches the ground floor, he opens the door and there is Liam leaning on his Mercedes Benz. His necklace glowing from his hoodie.

"How the fuck did you get this?" Louis whispers in amazement. He slowly walks to the car and touches the hood. He squeals at how it felt under his touch. He's having eyegasm if it's possible. "This is beautiful, Li!"

Liam giggles, he fucking giggles. "Thank you! I named her Martha! A beautiful name for a beautiful car!" He beams. His eyes are literally shining while he looks at his own car. Louis thinks Liam just fell in love.

Louis walks around the car while his fingers are grazing at the shining black skin of it. The seats are squeaky leather when he opens the car door and the smell of leather is dominant inside the car. He closes the door then walks to the hood opposite to Liam.

"The Uppers gave it to me! As a gift!"

Louis looks up to Liam, too fast for his own liking. "The Uppers?" Louis asks in disbelief. Is this their reward? Because Louis can definitely save people for a fucking Mercedes! "They gave this to you?!"

"Yes! I was surprise too! Markus dropped this off..." He says while patting the car. "Said it was for the years of helping them!"

Louis stands there with his eyes wide and a shell-shocked look on his face. He was gone for two weeks then this? What more if he was gone for a fucking month? What? The Uppers decided to name London after Liam?

"Man! You're a lucky one! You are one of their favorites, I'm telling yah!" Louis leans toward the car.

"Oh! I'm not sure about that!" Liam comments making the other boy chuckle. Louis checks his reflection, his hair is a bit damp from the shower. He fixes his fringe that falls just above his eyebrows.

"Where do you wanna go?" Liam asks, fumbling on his keys.

"I don't know? Grocery, maybe? But I haven't eaten breakfast yet so how about pizza place?" He suggests while peeking to Liam who nods in respond.

The chilly November air welcomes them, good thing he decided to wear a hoodie. Liam is wearing the same, a black skinny jeans and a nike sweater.

Liam starts the car. The engine takes off and Louis thought it's the prettiest sound ever. He sinks in deeper to his leathered seat then turns the radio on. Liam pulls out his apartment and starts driving to the nearest pizza place.

They hum to the song. The Scientist is playing and Louis is pleased. Outside the tinted car are loads of busy people. Most people has their phones tucked between their shoulder and ears while drinking coffee or biting on their scone.

The main street is filled with glowing green, orange, yellow halos. So far, no signs of red halos. Thank God! It's too early to deal with that.

Liam stops at a pedestrian. "So, you stubbed your toe?" He asks, trying to sound serious but miserably failing. Louis swat his arms.

"Both feet are stubbed for God's sake! I'm gonna need a new home." Louis sighs and Liam tries to stifle a laugh.

He punches his arm. “Oww!” Liam rubs his arm but a smile is threatening to break his face. "I think that’s a great idea! I'll help you find one?"

"Thank you. That's a great help!"

A Beyonce song plays. "God, I love this song!" Louis announces mirthfully. "Oh woah oh oh woah oh woah oh woah oh oh!" Louis sings as he mimicks the dance steps.

Liam glances at him and laughs heartily, he slows his driving and horns can be heard from behind. "If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! If you like then you shoulda put a ring on it!" Both sing in unison. Laughter fills the car as they do the dance steps and Liam is having a hard time for doing both making Louis laugh harder.

"You should've seen your face!" Louis says in between his laughs. "You look so serious about not getting us dead but you try so hard to remember the steps!" Liam glances at him and sticks his tongue out.

He is about to say something when he spots someone on the streets. He steps on the break too hard for Louis' liking. The sound of car horns and shouts fills the car.

"What the fuck?!"

"I saw someone with red halo!" Liam says, his eyes worried.

"Can you at least move the car to the side?" Louis pinches his nose. They probably won't die of an accident but by the people behind them burning them alive.

Once they were on the side, Liam glances at Louis. "Stay here, I'll be right back." Then he opens the car door. The cold air washing over Louis' senses.

Louis opens his window. He can see where Liam is going. It's a man, just around their age, he's wearing denim shorts and white v-neck shirt with a red nike jacket on top of it and he is thumbing on his phone outside a coffee shop as if he's waiting for someone.

Liam approaches the man. He really can't see much of what's happening because of throngs of people with different colors of halos. The young man is the only one with the red one.

Louis saw Liam's body go rigid and he knows he is seeing the boy's future hours away from him. Without a minute, Liam regains his posture then had a small talk with the man. They walk inside the shop.

Louis sinks to his seat and blows an air he didn't know he was holding. He turns to the rearview mirror and stares at his reflection. He runs his hand over his hair and ruffles it a bit. He can see his necklace glowing from beneath his hoodie and it screams a black light, as black as the car.

He glances at the coffee shop and Liam is already walking out alone. Louis wiggles his bum on his seat then waits for Liam to come back.

When Liam reaches the car, Louis asks right away. "How bad was it?"

"It's not the worst that I've handled but it's a bit bloody, mate." Louis winces as Liam pulls away from the shop.

"H-How bloody?" Louis dares to ask. He can feel his whole body tensing from the seat.

"A car will jump in the sidewalk.”

Louis is silent. Fear, anxiety and sadness cripples on his veins.

"The young man, Ian, will be the most injured. Like, I heard his bones crack, for God's sake!" Liam pinches his nose then rubs his temple using his unoccupied hand. "The driver doesn't even have any injury just minor gashes but the boy..." Liam finds the less vulgar word. "... He looks awful."

The only sound that can be heard inside the car is the voice of Lorde singing Green Light, how ironic, and the heavy breathing of Louis. He hates hearing stories like this. He hates seeing dead people. That's one of the main reasons why he doesn't want to help anyone. He can't stand staring at them then doing nothing to relieve the pain because when you are in there, everything feels real, every moment feels real. It's like watching people die and die and it's sickening.

He hates himself more because he wasn’t like this before.

Louis doesn’t throw up and considers it as an achievement. "H-how... W-why did you brought him inside the coffee shop?" Liam glances at him then back to the road as he rounds a corner. Louis feels nauseous seeing all the halos outside his window.

"He is waiting for his girlfriend. Told him I’m a friend of his girlfriend and she asked me to rely a message that she’ll meet her inside the shop." Liam drives slowly, a group of children with glowing green on top of their heads crosses the street. "He didn’t really asked questions. Just a bit confused but he followed. Man, It feels so good seeing a red turned to green."

Louis nods, eyes fixed on the children crossing a few feet away from them. "I agree." The rest of the ride is silent and five minutes later they reached the place but Louis thinks he just lost his appetite.

Liam steps into the diner with Louis behind him. The place isn't packed, there's only a handful of people. Like the old couple in booth 3 with bright orange halos on top of their heads, there's also a girl, with green halo, eating alone in booth 5, and a pair of boys that, Louis guesses, are boyfriends. The boy, wearing a shirt and jacket on top of it, is fondly staring at the other while the other, wearing a cute patterned button up and a coat, fumbled on the fingers of his boy. Louis frowns when he realizes they have different halos, the coat guy has a green halo while the jacket guy has a yellow one.

The smell of pizza lingers in the air and both sniff in unison earning a chuckle from each other. Liam sits in the farthest booth and once seated, they both open their mouths to speak.

"So the boyfriends?" Both said in unison, Liam looks at Louis with a worried smile and Louis suddenly felt interested with the peach colored tiles.

"Uh, yeah..." Louis fumbles on a loose strand of his hoodie, trying his best to not look at Liam's eyes. "I just..."

"Hey, it's alright." Liam says, reaching for Louis' arms. "We both know that-"

"Hi boys! What can I get you?" The girl greets cheerfully. Liam glances at the girl then back to Louis before he gives him a squeeze on his arms.

"Your bestseller please and two ice teas." The girl notes it in her small notebook. "And a bowl of fries?" Liam turns to Louis waiting for his answer. He nods. "A bowl of fries."

The girl repeats their orders then walks away from them. Louis hears footsteps and it slowly fades. He can't really see who it is because his back is facing the door but Liam peeks to see who it is, intrigued as Louis.

"It's the old couple." Liam says then he starts thumbing on his phone again.

Louis doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t even know why he cares. He shouldn't.

He sits there until their order is carefully being placed in their table. He tries to keep his mind off the boys and the different halos. He tries.

The pizza is overflowing with toppings. Pepperoni, green bell peppers, bacon, onions, pineapples, and a lot more shits Louis didn't know they can put in pizzas, there’s a large bowl of fries in his left and an ice tea in his right.

Liam thanks the girl and pockets his phone then starts diving in the pizza. Louis takes a slice and they eat in silence aside from Liam's occasional moans in every bite.

Thirty minutes later, they finished eating. Louis is not really one to just stay silent the whole eating process, like, it's not very him.

Liam ate three fourths of the pizza and half of the fries.

Louis loses his appetite and no, its definitely not because of the halos. His whole body is tensing every minute that passes, beads of sweat running on his forehead making his fringe damp.

The girl with brunette hair, the one who took their orders, comes up to them and hands Liam the bill. Liam initiates a conversation making the girl blush and giggle but Louis tunes out completely from them.

Louis can feel every bit of his muscle tense even more. He can feel his heart beat rising, his temperature dropping and his swollen toe thumping. His head begins to ache and his ears starts to ring and suddenly, he is not in a pizza place anymore nor he is sitting across Liam anymore. His head is spinning and he can hear the screams and the horns.

Louis can feel his body stiff. He can see cars around, he can see people forming a big circle around them, and he can feel the eyes burning him as if it was his fault. As if he should be the one lying lifeless in the middle of the cold street.

He can feel a warm liquid in his hands but he can't look down. He can't look at the man lying beside his knees. He can't, so instead, he lifts his hands and there's blood, so much blood in his hands. He wants to scream but he can't, it’s like his body is numb. He can't feel anything then the voices came back. The screaming and the car horns are all ringing on Louis' ears and he can't handle it anymore. He felt his lungs constrict likethe air in his lungs are being pushed out of him. He can't breathe, he can't-

"Louis!" Liam shakes his shoulder. Liam's eyes are frantic as if he's been shaking Louis the whole time.

Louis looks up at Liam with his glassy eyes. His hands still on his ears but there's no trace of blood on it.

"Are you okay? What is happening?" Liam gives him that look. The same look he gave him five years ago but this time it's not around white walls and crappy hospital coffees. "Louis..." Liam calls again.

Louis turns his gaze away from Liam and he can feel his stare burning his right ear. He can't take it. He needs to go home.  _He needs to be alone_.

Louis stands from his seat and runs to the door, eyes glued to the floor but Liam doesn’t run after him. He knows when to leave him alone, one thing that he loves the most about Liam. He gives one last look at him and he still has the same look that Louis can't decipher. Is it pity? Worry? Sadness? Anger? Yeah, maybe the latter because that's what he feels right now. He feels so mad and helpless and everything at once.

Before he pushes the door open, he gave the couple one last glance, still with glowing green and yellow halos on top of their heads. Louis turns his head with his eyes closed, trying to stop the tears from falling.

The cold November air didn't help Louis' state. As soon as he steps the streets, he hastily ran towards his flat bumping on people on his way. He can see halos through his glassy eyes, green, orange and yellows bumping on him as he makes his way. He couldn't care less anymore. He didn't care about the look people is giving him.

"You don't own the fucking street!" A woman shouts from behind. He almost spilled her drink.

"Watch where you're going!"

"Slow down, man."

He doesn’t care about their spats.

He is running and bumping and running as fast as his two legs can allow him. The street is packed because its always is and will always be.

Louis doesn’t notice the young girl. He bumps into her too hard for his own liking then suddenly he is in the middle of the street. It's the same street an he can see a young girl, around fifteen years old, crossing the street. The stoplight is at red signalling the pedestrians to walk but there's a car, a car with a driver who stepped on his car break a minute too late or a second too late, then suddenly there's a girl flying a few feet from the pedestrian. A young girl lying lifeless on the middle of the street and there's people forming a big crowd and-

"Are you okay, Mister?" The young girl asks softly. Far from the spats he received from the old men and stilletoed women. He nods.

The girl continues walking and Louis knows. He should be stopping her, he should be helping her, he should do what he failed to do before.

The people around him gets thicker and thicker and Louis suddenly felt claustrophobic. He can't breathe, his lungs stops working and his head is spinning.

The girl stops just in front of the pedestrian lane. Louis should run, he should stop her. He takes a step forward to the girl's direction. People are bumping into him, hastily walking with their eyes glued to their phones. He sees a man wearing a black suit and a shiny expensive pair of shoes walking hurriedly as if his life depends on it. As if he'll freeze time if he can. He has a yellow halo on his head.

He turns his attention to the girl but that's when he heard it, the strong screeching sound that stop all the busy-looking people. The car horns and the screams, the loud sound of collision, the high pitched voices calling for help, that's when he heard it and he didn't do anything to save her.

Louis feels his body weaken. He feels like his heart stopped beating, like all the blood on his body stopped flowing, like his lungs stopped working, like his necklace burned a hole in his chest, like his head is spinning and his ears is ringing. He feels sick.

He's having war flashbacks of what happened five years ago and this is the first time after a year that he experienced an attack.

His knees wobbles and his legs gives up. He is sitting in the middle of the sidewalk and people are brushing past him. He can hear an ambulance far from behind. He can hear soft cries at the distance. He feels like he is back at the same place and same time, something he would never wish to bring back.

He can feel his whole body go limp and his eyes close. He can die right then and there if a right amount of people step on him or maybe someone would be so helpful and run their car over the sidewalk. Louis wishes the ground would swallow him. He wishes he never opened his eyes.

All around him is green and orange halos and he feels overwhelm. He can see police cars and medics hastily jumping from the car. He can see Liam running to him and he can hear his own sobs before everything went black.

*****

Louis opens his eyes and is greeted by the glass of water at his side table. His eyes still blurry from his sleep. He can hear soft voices from the edge of the bed but he doesn’t make efforts to know where the voices come from.

He turns to his side, his back flat on the bed and the duvet up to his neck. The windows is wide open and stars are visible across the sky. The wind is humming softly causing the white curtains to dance.

"Louis?" Liam stands from the floor. He's holding a bag of chips in his right hand and he is plastering a worried smile on his soft face. He is watching an episode of Masterchef Kids. 

Louis props his elbows to sit. He leans his back against the headboard then reaches for the glass of water on his side table.

"You feeling okay?" Liam strides to him then sits on his side. He puts the chips behind him on the bed.

Louis nods after he placed the water back to the table.

"Okay, that's great." Liam reaches for his left hand. "Do you want anything? Are you hungry?"

"No, I don't think I'm hungry but thank you." He gives Liam's hand a squeeze. "What time is it?"

"It's almost 10." Liam checks his watch for confirmation. "Uhm... do you wanna talk about what happened?"

Louis looks puzzled for a while until it dawned on him.

His hands trembles and he can feel Liam's grip tighten.

"I- Li, this- this is my first time after... a year." He looks away from him and stares at the stars outside. He notices that the moon is nowhere to be found but the sky is still lit by a few shining ball of gases. Louis feels calm for a moment. "I don't know what happened there! Like I can hear the voices, Li! The screams and the horns! And I just felt like I was there! Again! At the same place!" He doesn’t even notice his whole body is shaking and hiis eyes are frantic and are turning glassy again.

"Louis. Look at me." Liam cups his cheeks forcing him to look at his eyes. "You're safe here, okay? No one's gonna hurt you. I'm here. You got me."

Louis can hear the sincerity in his voice and he just wants to curl up and sleep forever. "I know but I- Wait- Li, what happened to the girl?! Oh my God! I didn't even- I-"

"Louis!" Liam's hand are now on his shoulders shaking him back to reality. His hands are gentle but has a tight grip on it scared that if he loosens his hold Louis will just float away. "She- she didn't survive but it's-"

Louis flies from the bed and paces around the room, panic flooding on his own body.

"No. No, no, no, no, no! Liam! I was there! And- and I didn't even try helping her! I-"

"Louis..." Liam stands from the bed and takes a step towards him. Louis keeps on pacing.

"She didn't know what's gonna happen but I do!" Louis looks at Liam then pounds on his own chest. Liam winces at the action. "I didn't help her! She has so much more to live! She could've done so much!" He stops pacing and stares at Liam with glassy eyes. "I could've done something! But instead I-" Louis whispers as he runs his hands to his hair then pulled at them hard. He is so frustrated.

Liam is about to say something but Louis cuts him off. “And the couple, the guy with the coat! He’ll never know! He’ll just wake up one day and the one he loves is probably one breath away from death!” Louis is emotional, he knows. He just can’t stop thinking about it. The horror of knowing the person you love will never going to wake up. “One day, he could never see his eyes again.  _God!”_ He keeps on pulling on his hair.

Liam rushes to Louis' side then grabs his hands. "Stop! Louis! You're hurting yourself, please!" Louis loosens his grip then he disentangles each fingers from the hair. "C'mon just calm down please." He guides Louis to sit on the edge of the bed. Louis looks so fucked up and Liam has never seen him like this before again.

"Liam, I could've saved her." Louis looks at his friend's eyes, tears threatening to escape.

For a few minutes, the only sound that can be heard in the room is Gordon Ramsay's voice comforting a kid who probably fucked up his cooking.

Liam guides Louis' head to his shoulder. He put his hands around his waist and tightly hugs him. He waits for Louis' next words while running his hands up and down Louis' side.

"I could've have done something I didn't. I- Sam would probably be alive today if it wasn't for me." That's when he let the gates of his tear ducts open.

He cries so much that no one talks for about five minutes. Liam just lets him pour everything out and he lets him murmur 'ssshhh' in his ears and hold him there. He is so thankful he has Liam to be his anchor right now.

After a lifetime of silence, Liam finally speaks. "Louis, it wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who run over him. Don't blame yourself. You didn't do anything." He gives Louis a forehead kiss.

"That's- that's it. I didn't do anything to save him!" Louis stares at the floor.

"Because you didn't know! No one knows okay?"

"Yeah, no one knows. Fuck feelings!" He notices the crooked wood that caused his toe to swell twice in two weeks.

"Lou, don't blame yourself. It's been five years! Move on, go have-"

"Move on?" Louis looks up to Liam. His eyes are worried and his lips on a thin line. He looks tired and Louis knows the feeling. "Who the fuck are you to say that? Do you even know how hard and scary it is to be haunted by that day for four years? I repeat, four fucking years!" Louis stands from the bed and faces Liam.

"Lou, I know-"

"No you don't! You'll never know the feeling of being left behind by someone you love!" Louis shouts and Liam freezes. He remains seated in the bed.

"I don't?" Liam grits his teeth trying hard to remain calm. "So you think I didn't cried a fucking river when Zayn left? You think what? I threw a goddamn party to celebrate?" Louis stands there motionless.

Liam sighs. "I- This is not about me okay? But- look at me." He stares at his eyes unblinking. "Look how I'm continuing my life and I-"

"I can't. I- I just can't leave him. I can't forget him and just go on with my life like nothing happened!"

"He already left you! You're the only one who's been stuck there!" Louis gasps. "Five years! Jesus Christ! He's probably built a new life on the other side! And you're still here moping over him! Move on, Louis! There's so much people who wants a space somewhere in your heart but you turned them all down!" Liam’s chest is heaving.

A moment of silence, the Masterchef logo appearing in the screen.

Louis just walks past Liam and stares outside the window.

"Are you quite finished?" Louis doesn’t even turned to face him.

Liam rubs his temples. "Look Louis, I just-"

"I mean, you're right. I've been turning all these people down because I can't get over Sam. Fuck me, right?"

"No, Louis I didn't-" Liam takes a step towards him. Louis turns around and faces him.

"Fuck me for not moving on over a person who died fuckin five years ago because of me." He rubs his eyes too hard causing his eyes to puff even more. Liam reaches out but he swat his hands. "Well, fuck you... for hurting my feelings, you’re supposed to be my friend."

"Lou, I didn't mean to-" Liam reaches again for Louis' arms but he holds his hands up then brushed past him.

"Get out of my house." He says as calmly as possible.

"Louis-"

"Get the fuck out!" Louis opens the door too hard he might've heard the frame crack.

Liam doesn’t have any choice but to leave the place. He gives Louis one last worried look before Louis slams the door closed.

Inside the room, Louis leans his back on the door. Fresh tears streams down his face.

"Fuck!" He screams while he bangs his head behind him. "Fucking fuck!"

He feels his knees buckle and he landed with a thud on the floor. He brought his knees to his chest then leans his head forward to his knees.

He stays there for a while and remembers the night before it happened.

_"Lou!" Sam calls from the kitchen. Louis is on the sofa browsing through the channels. "How about we go out tomorrow?"_

_"Are you asking me out on a date?" Louis replies, smiling fondly at the telly. He lifts his legs up to the coffee table then the sofa dipped._

_"Well, yes my love." Sam grins. Louis reaches out to fix his fringe. He stares directly at his hazel eyes. Louis wants to get lost in them forever. "Are you free tomorrow?"_

_"Let me check my schedule..." Louis looks up the ceiling and pretends he is thinking. Sam laughs and he thinks he just heard what a laugh from an angel sounds like. "Yes, I am free."_

_"Of course, you are free! You don't work, you dork!" Sam pokes Louis' cheeks earning a fond smile from the boy._

_"Oh yes! I always forget! Why!" Louis touches his temple through the back of his hand for some effect. Sam grins and swats his arms._

_Louis stares at the beautiful blonde boy in front of him. He can't help himself so he leans forward and kisses him. Gentle enough to let him know that he'll take care of him forever._

_Sam kisses him back but it's not anything near intense. Sam's hand on Louis' waist and Louis' hands on Sam's cheeks._

_Sam is the one who broke the kiss. "What was that for?" His cheeks are tinted pink. Louis finds it cute._

_"Nothing! I just wanna kiss you." Louis grins while Sam laughs heartily. They cuddle each other on the sofa until they got tired of browsing the channels._

That was the night Louis would give everything just to bring back. The last night with the one he loves so much.

Louis' bum starts to go numb because of the hours of sitting on the floor. He tries to stand then he walks to the bed. He drinks the remaining water on his glass then slips into the duvet. He looks at the clock and it's half past one. He's been sitting there at the cold wood floor for two hours.

He closes his eyes and tries to keep his mind off Sam. He tries to block the nightmares that will follow him and tries to sleep without opening his eyes without even a second later.

He decides to sleep with the lights on for the night. He takes his hoodie and pants off then cuddle back to his bed.

He closes his eyes again then tries sleeping with the lights on and windows open. He tries.

He failed.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii sorry for the super late update! i've been busy these past few weeks!!! and i saw niall yesterday! yay but going back, hope you'll liked this one! and just bear with my crappy writing skills. i made a playlist on spotify and i'll linked it here once i figure it out but for now kindly search it up on yt/spotify! enjoy and leave kudos/comments! yay

 

_Louis…_

He hears a familiar voice calling his name. A voice he hasn’t heard for almost a year.

_Why?_

He can't see him. He can't see anything. Everything around him is black. Did he lost his sight?

_Louis..._

Louis runs. He runs so fast until his legs hurt. He runs towards nowhere, beads of sweat running down his forehead, his chest, his back.

He can hear him everywhere. It's like whatever he do, wherever he run he can't escape the voice.

_Why? Why did you let me d-_

"NO!" Louis cries out. Tears are streaming down his face mixing with his own sweat. He feels his whole body weaken as he lands on his knees. His hands cradling his face. "I didn't! Please! I'm sorry, Sam! I love you and I'll never-"

_You didn’t save me Louis._

Louis can hear sobs but he's not sure if it's his or Sam's.

_You killed me! And all I did was love you!_

"No, no, no, no." Louis mumbles. He runs his hands on his hair. He shakes his head and wishes everything will just go away. His body involuntarily trembles but he isn't sure if it's because of the fear or the guilt he is feeling.

_You killed me. It was all your fault._

Louis brings his knees to his chest. He closes his eyes tight even though keeping it open doesn't really make any difference. He rocks his body back and forth while he presses his hands to his ears.

_It was your fault._

He feels something wet in his feet then slowly he looks down and see what's happening. A pool of blood is pouring out somewhere under him and it doesn’t have any signs of stopping.

Louis panics. He immediately stands but the blood is already ankle deep. It's rising and rising and Louis doesn't know what to do. He wants to shout but his voice is stuck.

The black hole he's been a while ago has now turned into a sea of blood. It is now waist deep and it doesn’t stop instead it keeps on rising and rising.

Louis swims to whatever direction he can think of. His skin is covered with red liquid and his hair dripping with blood. His tears mixing with the thick component.

_It was your fault._

The blood is reaching his neck. It's happening so fast he doesn't have time to think.

_It was your fault._

Next thing Louis knew is the red liquid reaching his nose. He kicks under to keep his head afloat.

_It was your fault._

"STOP! JUST STOP! I DIDN'T-" Louis is cut off by the blood entering his mouth. His nose sniffing a few milliliters.

Then he's under the sticky water. He can't see anything. His eyes are blurry. He can feel his lungs constrict and his oxygen level falling. He kicks and swims upward but it felt like there's no surface. No ending like his suffering.

_It was your fault._

Louis opens his mouth to scream but no sounds came until someone pulls me deeper in the ocean of blood and a screeching screaming tears the room.

Louis sits up straight from his bed, his chest heaving. The necklace around his neck rises and falls in sync with his breathing. Sweat running down his whole body making him glisten. The duvet is damped with sweat too.

_He had a nightmare_. Louis leans against the headboard then banged his head on it once, twice, thrice. Maybe if his skull is busted wide open he won’t have this horrible experience again.

He reaches out for the glass and lifts to drink. He only gets a few droplets causing him to groan so he places it back to the table and pulls himself out the bed to get himself something to drink. He grabs the first thing his eyes catch sight. It turns out to be a can of beer. Just right.

He stalks back to his bed and opens the can. For a moment the only thing that can be heard is the swish of the beer can oozing with bubbles and his soft uneven breaths.

He gulps half of the can straight then  wipes his mouth using the back of his hand. He stares outside the window and it's still dark but with a slightest shade of orange. Louis looked at the clock just above his telly. 4:45 a.m. Less than three hours of sleep, great.

He downs all the remaining beer in his can in one go. He throws the can in the bin near the edge of his bed but he misses it, the sound of the can hitting the wood felt so loud in this time of day.

Louis is never fond of mornings. He doesn't like waking up earlier than 11, maybe before yeah but ever since the accident he just doesn’t have any reason to wake up early, or to wake up, in general.

Bacon and eggs with french toast partnered by his tea is his favorite breakfast. He remembers Sam cooking him breakfast every morning. He always wakes up with the smell of it and he always ends up hugging him from his back while he’s preparing their meal.

Louis gets up from his bed then head for the showers. He figures he can't go back to sleep anymore so maybe he'll take a walk or something to ease his mind.

 

**(Song: Already Gone - Sleeping At Last)**

He steps into the bathroom and opens the faucet to his tub. He checks himself in the mirror. He looks pretty fucked up. His hair disarray, his eyes puffy with dark circles under it, his face glistens from sweat and tears, and his lips are crack and pale as if he didn't drink water for a year.

He dips his hands on the half full tub to check the water. It's warm enough so he discarded his boxers and steps into the tub leaving his necklace around his neck.

He moans when his legs met the warm water. He lowers himself until it reaches his chin and Louis feels calm even for a few minutes. He closes his eyes and savors the peacefulness of the hour.

He keeps his mind off Sam and focuses on his own breathing. He peeks through his eyes and watches the rising and falling of his necklace on top of his chest.

Louis sinks deeper with his eyes still closed. He sits there motionless for an hour or two but he doesn’t really care.

When the water began to feel cold he opens his eyes and stares at the white tiles across him. He can burn a hole on it for staring too long. Someone can force enter his bathroom and he'll probably waved them off.

He lifts his hands and examines it. His fingers began to look pale and crinkly. He checks his toes and its turning crinkly too for being exposed to the water for too long.Already Gone - Sleeping At Last

He sits there for another hour, his mind wandering off elsewhere. He starts to think of his life if he’s not who he is. Is he happy? Is he in the arms of the person he loves? Is he contented with his life? But Louis’ sure about one thing, he wouldn’t feel this never ending fear and anxiety if he never chose this life.

But then he wonders if he is still alive if he didn’t accepted this fate.

He reaches out to the faucet to open it again. The warm water runs and the cold water spills out of the tub.

He shuts his eyes and his mind drifts off to Sam. Did he really love him? Did he really care for him? Or did he just love the feeling of loving him?

Something in Louis’ stomach churns that force him to throw up. The undigested food splatters in the floor as Louis’ stomach pushes them all out.

He leans back to the white tiles and is met by a blonde boy with the most beautiful hazel eyes he’s ever laid eyes on.

He gives him a weak smile. “You’re not true. You’re not here. You’re just in my imagination. You’re not here because-” Louis sobs. “-because of- of me.” He whispers to himself, a secret he never wants the world to know.

"Louis." The boy calls out with a smile.

"S- Sam?" Louis reaches out to touch his cheeks but careful not to do anything that might cause him to float away. "Sam, please- come back.”

"Hello, my love." The blonde boy replies as if he doesn’t just hear Louis plead for him to come back. He grins at him and Louis must admit, he missed that. He missed that the most. "Lovely necklace." He says while he reaches out to it and touches the pendant.

"I- Thank you." Louis is loss for words. He looks like hell but he couldn’t believe what his eyes sees. He missed him so much, so fucking much he doesn’t want to wake up if it’s a dream.

Louis cups both his cheeks. Sam withdraws his hands and leans to his touch. He smiles fondly at him but did not say anything. He ran his hand on Sam's hair then fixed his fringe, just like before. He looks at him and stare to his eyes, the most beautiful eyes of all.

But there’s something, something missing.

They stare at each other. Louis has confusion, happiness, and a hint of sorrow written on his face while Sam has the fondest smile he could muster.

Louis starts leaning into him and Sam closes his eyes ready for the contact of their lips. Louis missed his lips, his not-so-thin yet not-so-thick lips. He misses his strawberry-flavored chapstick he always used.

Louis leans further until their faces are less than an inch apart then he closes his eyes. He doesn't need to miss his lips anymore because right now he can taste them again just like before.

He can feel his own breath touching him. He can feel his heart beating simultaneously with him. He can feel his lips aching for him. He can feel him until he can't.

Louis opens his eyes and is greeted by the white tiles. He sighs and releases a breath he doesn’t remember holding.  

He leans his head behind him then closes his eyes. He has seen the back of his eyelids a lot more than expected today.

It was all just a dream, he sighs. He is never here because he can never be. He'll never see him again. Not ever.

Louis steps out the tub, careful not to step on his vomit, then drains it. He brushes his teeth and stares at his reflection.

It took him four years before he stopped having nightmares and thoughts and dreams of him but it only took him a second before it all come crashing back down again.

If he's being honest, he just wants to move on from all the craps of his past. He just wants to get over it but every time he tries, Every. Fucking. Time. he tries, he feels the guilt knock on him once, twice, thrice. It's like he can never escape what he did. He can never not remember what happened that night.

When he sees blood oozed out of his gums, he spit out the foam, his necklace catching some. He rinses his mouth and wipes his face then his hair using a clean towel. He, then, wraps it around his waist.

He picks a denim jeans and a yellow nike shirt from his closet. He slips on to his boxers then jeans then his shirt. He safely tucks his necklace inside.

Being a seer has consequences because, really, you can't have all the good things in life.

Everyday, they encounter humans, they interact with them and they live with them that’s why it’s not a surprise when seers develop feelings and fall for them. A lot of seers have human partners and it's not unlawful or prohibited but it has consequences.

He checks himself at the mirror one last time before he walks to his drawer. He opens it to get his wallet but it's empty.

"Shit!" He mumbles to himself then goes to search other drawers. When he doesn’t found it there, he lifts his duvet then searches under the pillows. He kneels in the floor to check under the bed but it’s nowhere to be found.

He sits on the floor, his back against his bed as he brings his knees up to his chest. He feels like it is his new favorite sitting position.

"Could this day get anymore fucking worst?" He mutters under his breath.

Inside him, he wants to shout, he wants to scream, he wants to throw everything outside the window, he wants to break his door in half, he wants to drown himself in the tub but he's too tired to do anything.

A strong wind blows from outside and washes over his senses. He stands up and looks around, his duvet is in the floor, his pillows is in the other corner of the room, his drawers are opened and its contents are scattered on the floor or bed.

He and his room have something in common, they are both pretty messed up.

Louis walks to the window and closes it. He sees a glimpse of the streets and catches sight of a boy with a green halo. He sighs, going outside means seeing halos so he decides to do something he hasn’t done for almost a year.

He walks into the mirror then reaches for his necklace inside his shirt. He removes it and pockets it. He felt extra weak, extra exhausted.

Taking the necklace off, for all seers, can be dangerous. The necklace gives them life so removing it can weaken them. It's also unlawful especially if you're doing it to kill yourself. If other seers see you without your necklace, because theirs will still light if there's a seer nearby, they can turn you in and you'll have some small talk with The Uppers. Maybe not small.

His reflection changes with a blink of an eye. He looks more exhausted and the circles under his eyes turned darker. He looks pretty fucked up.

Removing the necklace means returning to their human form, not necessarily becoming human but their body weakens and they become more vulnerable.

Sacrificing is a different thing, you undergo some witchcraft shits to give your life to someone. What Louis is doing is a complete suicide especially now that he has a weak heart.

He palms his necklace to his jeans. He'll bring it with him just in case something happens. Which is what he assumes.

He feels extra weak but not weak enough to not walk himself out. He grabs his keys then walks to the door. He can't find his wallet so he'll just take a walk or something. Whatever he needs to remove Sam out of his mind.

Before he locks the door, he walks back to grab his rayban and watch. It's not even sunny enough to wear sunglasses but who cares.

He locks the door then checks his watch. 7:25 a.m.

He walks slowly the halls then down to the stairs. He doesn't want to waste so much energy. He's only been out a few minutes, he's a got a whole day ahead of him.

"Louis!" Someone calls him from behind when he's turning the knob of the front door.

He turns around and is greeted by the ugly smile of his landlord.

"How are you doing? Haven't seen you that much around." He walks to Louis with bags of groceries with his both hands.

"I saw you last week." Louis crosses his arms in front of him. He looks at his watch, not even a minute since he stopped for him and it already felt like an hour.

"Did we?"

"Cut the bullshit, Dave. What do you want?" Louis grits his teeth. He just wants to get some fresh air, why is it so damn hard.

"Woah. Easy there, young man. Just asking for the rent." He holds his hands up and took a step backward.

Louis just rolls his eyes then walks out of the building making sure he slams the door on his way out.

He walks a few blocks before he turns to the direction opposite to the subway, there are fewer people in this side of town. He sees a group of girls walking past him, he hopes they have bright green halo on top of their heads.

Every step he makes feels heavy and he can feel himself frail. He can feel himself slip.

He walks a few blocks more when he spots a book shop. He stops at a pedestrian waiting for the red light to turn green. The number of people doubled and he just thanks himself for not wearing the necklace.

When the light turns green, he walks slowly hoping that he'll be in the middle of the street when the light turns red and some cars just run him over.

Just like what happened to Sam.

A strong, loud horn buzzes him out of his trance.

"Get out the damn way!" The driver waves his hands outside his window. He looks up to see that the light is now red and green for the cars. He's still a few feet from the other side of the street.

"Just fucking run me over!" Louis shouts but he continues walking. A few more beeping sound echoes causing the bystanders to look at him.

After what felt like a lifetime, he finally reaches the sidewalk. His legs feels like giving up, he's been walking for an hour now.

He walks to the direction of the book shop. He sees a boy holding a bouquet of red roses and Louis can tell he’s a bit nervous. He's wearing a black skinny jeans and a fancy sweater. Louis wonders what halo is on top of his head, is it green? Orange? Yellow? Hopefully not red.

When he's in front of the shop, he feels his pocket warm. He reaches for it and notices that it is glowing. He looks up to the store again and there he saw Jessica.

Jessica is his friend but not close enough to cover him up and Louis is pretty sure she will turned him in.

She is holding a book and waiting in queue. When she turns to her side she sees Louis. She waves at him but Louis panics so he pockets his necklace back to his jeans then turns around to cross the street.

He runs a few meters before he reaches a coffee shop where he steps inside while he tries to calm his breaths. His chest heaving and his heartbeat rising a little for his own liking. He sits in the nearest chair he could reach and slumps there to rest his head on the table.

He can smell the aroma of coffee around him. He looks up and notices that there's a few people and there's no queue in the counter. The barista is sleeping near the cashier, a book under her.

He turns his hand over his hair then removes his raybans. He props his elbows on the table then cradles his face on his hands.

The place is satisfyingly and relaxingly calm. He closes his eyes listening to his own heartbeat. He hears faint voices and the cash register clink, someone must've finally decided what they want to order.

Only then he realizes that he didn’t bring his wallet so he might as well get up and leave before he gets an annoying stare from the barista.

He stays there for a few minutes, head glued to the table. When he hears the chair in front of him graze the floor. He looks up to check who's the culprit, he's planning to kick him out of his table and say he's waiting for someone.

Or maybe not.

 

**(Song: Clouds by BORNS)**

Louis observes the man who is smiling to him. He has chocolate, beautiful curls.  _No, not beautiful_.   _More of... intact. Yes. That's right._ He also has green, mesmerizing eyes.  _What! No!!!! It's not that mesmerizing_. He mentally kicks himself. Is this a side effect of sleep deprivation? He also has pink, plump lips curved into a pretty smile.   _It's not that pretty_. And a white, perfect teeth.   _Psh, it's not that perfect._

While Louis is having a mental battle, the man pushes a coffee to him beside his sunglasses and clears his throat.

"Rough day?" He says with his deep, soothing, honey voice.  _What the fuck Louis?!_ "I noticed you a while ago. You were frantic and all. Just thought that maybe you need a cuppa." He taps the lid of the cup. He is smiling so wide and bright Louis might go blind.

He accepts the coffee with both his hands wrapping around it. "Thank you." He gives a small smile.

"No problem, mate."  _Mate. Mate._  "Nagger girlfriend, I assume?" He sits back to his chair. He has that stupid smirk that Louis may or may not find sexy.

Louis shakes his head. "Nah. I don't swing that way." Giving the man another smile before sipping the cup. He may or may not see a blush creep up the man's face.

"A nagger boyfriend then?" This time it's his turn to blush.  _The fuck? He doesn't even know his name._

"Nope." Popping the 'p'.  _Ex-boyfriend who is six feet under the ground._ He sips on his cup again and he might tiny bit recharged. "Thank you again for this. I would love to pay you but I don't have anything with me."

"No worries! I only buy the cute ones a coffee so consider yourself as one." He says propping his arms to the table. His shirt is four buttons open so Louis can see a bird or whatever tattoos on his chest. Well, things just took a turn.

Louis sips on his coffee and hums in response.

"I'm Harry." He extends his hand. Louis reaches out to meet him halfway and it’s not like Louis noticed how soft his hand is. 

"Louis." He withdraws his hand and tucks it away from Harry’s skin.

"Is it a loo-wi ending with an 'e' or a loo-wi ending with an 's'?" Harry furrows his eyebrows while biting on his bottom lip. Louis just wants to punch his face. He knows how to look cute. Damn.

"Ending with an 's'." He chuckles. He gives him his winning smile, the one with crinkly eyes.

"You're cute." He says while he sits back on his chair and bit again on his bottom lip.

"So I've been told." Louis looks down to sip on his cup, not meeting Harry's green green eyes.  _Can he please stop biting his lower lip before he actually combust and turn this place into ash?_  "So how could I repay you? For this coffee?"

Harry smirks.  _Wrong question._

"A coffee is okay." He says smiling, showing his white upper teeth. Who is his dentist because Louis wants a set of teeth like that.

"But I don't have my wallet with me, remember?"

"Next time, then. When you have it with you." Louis' lips formed an 'O' shape. “You owe me a coffee date.”

"A coffee date? You got me there." Harry shrugs and chews his bottom lip.  _For the love of God, Please_. "But sure, why not."

"Great! Nice! Wonderful!" He announces. Within a blink of an eye, he turns to an actual ray of sunshine. His smile is dazzling, it can actually replace the sun. "So... can I have your number?"

"Slow down, we've only been here less than an hour. I’m not that easy" Louis teases. He lifts his cup then does a circle motion on it.

"Oh.. Yeah.. Right." Harry's face falls.  _Still cute, why?_

"I was just kidding!" His face lit up again. Louis smiles bright because Harry's is so contagious. "Hand me your phone."

Harry hands him his phone so fast as if he's been holding it ever since he sat there. Louis types his numbers out then gives him back the phone.

"Don't you want my number? I mean, it's alright I could just text you... or call you. Like- but if you don't really like or you're not really comfortable with me having your p-"

"Curly, you're rambling." Louis reaches out to his hand. Harry looks down then back to Louis.

"Am I? Oh my God. I'm so sorry! I'm like this when I'm nervous and-" Harry's hand stays under Louis' touch.

"Nervous? You seem so smooth and confident a while ago." Louis draws his hand back.  _Harry's hands are warm_. He crosses his arms then props it on the table to keep himself from reaching out again. "You've got nothing to worry or to be nervous about."

"Okay, okay. So my number?" Louis nods then palms his phone on his jeans.

"Oh shit! I left it too!" He realizes while pushing his hands on his pockets and back pockets.

"Oh... it's alright I'll just call you or text you tonight..." Louis smirks and Harry blushes. "I mean not tonight maybe tomorrow..."

"It's alright I have nothing else to do anyway." He says sitting back to his chair. His coffee gone cold.

"You don't work?"

The question causes Louis to sit up straight and think of an answer. "Well..."

"It's okay if you don't want to answer. I mean, it's your life and I shouldn't be asking personal questions." Harry has the sincerest eyes he'd ever seen.

"No, it's alright. Well, I used to work but I got some money from my dad so I figured maybe I could at least experience the jobless life." He shrugs for an effect. It's the same thing he told Sam. And now he's telling it to someone.  _Again_.

"So, a posh then?" Harry snorts. Well, he can't actually tell him that his money is handed to him by some people with mystical powers.

"No popstar but I bet you are." He tilts his head to the side. "With your fashion statement and all." He says while he draws circles in the air using his pointer finger.

Harry laughs. "No, no. I'm not actually. Believe it or not, I am a teacher on a school."

"A school teacher?" Louis asks, tapping the cup on the table. He needs to keep his hands busy before he reach out to Harry's soft curls.

"Well, yeah! I teach kindergartens." Harry plasters a bright smile. They hear the door opened and both heads turn to the direction of the entrance. A girl walks inside with some paper bags hanging on her arms. "Plus my mom owns the school so she gets what she wants."

"Your mom owns a school? And you tell me you're not posh? Hmmm... one plus one is equal to seven?" Louis teases.

Harry sat back on his chair then put his hands behind his head. His arms flexing.  _Don't stare, Louis. Don't stare._  "My mom is! I'm not!" Louis narrows his eyes making the boy laugh. "Okay, Maybe!" Louis nods his head with a smile on his face. "But not so much!" Harry adds quickly and maybe a little too loud. Some heads turn to them.

They both giggle and blush. For a moment, no one talked. It’s silent but not the awkward one. It's relaxing, soothing, he kind of silence that you'd want and Louis likes it.

Harry's phone beeps. He looks to Louis as if asking for permission to break the silence. Louis nods.

"Hello?"

Louis tries to tune out of them. He doesn't want to eavesdrop anyway.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm at a coffee shop." Harry looks at Louis. He smiles causing the other boy to smile too.

Louis looks around the place. It's not a starbucks type of place so maybe that's why it's not really packed. There’s a few tables here and there and a shelf on his left with some books stacked artfully. There are also some frames hanging, old photos of London and some cutouts from old newspapers. It gives off an introvert ambiance and Louis likes it.

"Hey..." Harry pokes his hands. Louis looks up to him. Blue meets green. "I have to go. My mom needs something so I need to drop by the grocery."

Oh. "Okay. I'll see you soon, then." Louis smiles at him.

"Sure. Of course." Harry grins. He stands up from his chair. "Goodbye, Louis." He walks to the door.

"Bye, Curly." Louis turns his body and watches Harry go.

He realizes he needs to go to the groceries to fetch himself some goods, too. Maybe on Friday. Yep, Friday will do.

Louis rises from his seat a few minutes after Harry left. He brings his cold coffee on his way out and dumps it in the nearest bin he sees.

As he get farther from the coffee shop, he feels himself weaken again. He almost forgot he didn't wear his necklace. He stops for a moment then touches his chest then he counted one to three, breathe in and breathe out. He steadies his own breath.

He continues walking after a few minutes. Two girls are walking hand in hand on the other side of the street and Louis smiles fondly at the pair. He doesn’t have any idea if they're a couple but he thought they'll be cute together.

He retraces his path home but this time instead of walking straight he turned on a block, using the shorter way home. He realizes he didn't think of Sam while he was back at the coffee shop, not that he thinks it's something. He just felt normal again for a while, without halos or his past haunting him. He felt okay for a while and he likes it. He likes being normal,  _he missed it._

A few blocks away from his building, he can feel his necklace burn in his jeans. He almost forgot about it. He looks around and notices that the street is almost empty aside from the woman pushing a stroller opposite his direction. He quickly wears the necklace around his neck.

When he reaches the building, he sees Markus sitting on the steps. His exposed necklace glowing. He stops on his tracks.

"Hey, Lou! Haven't seen you in a while! Oh and you really tucked that out huh?" He says while pointing to his necklace. Louis touches it then hide it inside his shirt.

"Uh.. Yeah." Markus nods as if understanding his fashion reasons. "What brings you... here?" Did Jesy saw him without his necklace that’s why Markus is here to confront him and turned him in?

He walks past Markus and unlocks the door. Markus follows him as they climb upstairs.

"Oh... Nothing!" Markus replies when they were near his floor. "Just Liam told me you-"

Louis spins around too fast. His brows furrows and he is gritting his teeth. "What did he tell you?"

"That you're looking for a new home?" He seems confused.

"Oh." Louis' face completely softens. He continues climbing the stairs. "I just thought..."

The pair are now side by side while walking the short hallway. "Just thought what?"

"Nothing." Louis waves him off. He unlocks the door and once again reminded how fucked up his morning was.

"What nothing? I mean- Jesus Christ, Lou! What happened here?" Markus steps into the room, almost stepping on the beer can he drank earlier.

"It's nothing. I just- I had a bad morning, you see." Louis gestures to the room.

Markus nods. "Yeah, I can see that... clearly." He picks up a bottle of expired lube that must've flew from the drawer when Louis was searching for his wallet.

He snatches it fast from his hands. "Uhm, Well as you can see, my house is pretty shit right now." Markus nods and he doesn’t even know if he should be offended. "So enough of this and let's talk about the new home." Louis grins.

"Uh yeah." Markus looks around one last time. He can't actually clean the room using his eyes. "About that... so my friend has a friend who has this new apartment and they're looking for some tenants. I think the place is cool. Budget-friendly and all. It's near everywhere."

"No crooked wood floors?"

"What? Of course none!" Markus picks his duvet up then bundle it up on the bed.

"Just making sure, you know." Louis picks his pillows up then arranges it on the bed. "Anyway, you said it's okay so I'll take it."

Markus' face lit up. "Really? That's great! Okay, I'll call her and tell you when you can move!"

"Great, great. I'm hoping as soon as possible." Markus nods.

He helps Louis make the bed then hands him all the contents of the drawers that are lying on the floor. "I think I can manage this. Thank you for helping me."

"No problem! Okay- Wait, what's with Liam? I mean, you said earlier-"

"Go home, Markus." He says while he pushes him out of the door.

"Wait- I- Okay- Bye! See you so-" Louis closes the door then leans against it. He looks at his room. Well, it doesn't look like a wild animal nested there for a few days anymore.

He can hear footsteps behind his door and waits until it fade. He jumps on his bed, put the other pillow on top of his head, sandwiching it between two soft pillows.

He is exhausted. He doesn’t even do much aside from walking and talking and mentally battling himself.

His mind drifts off again.

After ten years of being a seer not once did he ever felt so normal. Maybe when he's with Sam and they were alone but aside from that never. Everyday he wakes up thinking of how many halos he'll see and how many people will die that day. Not ever did he once felt so belong in the human world. Not ever since today.

Talking with Harry felt normal. Talking with him felt so easy and light. He felt like he'd known him a lot longer than one hour. He's grateful for that one hour he felt not a seer but a human. For an hour, he felt okay. For an hour, he felt ordinary.

He removes the pillow on top of him and lies there in his bed thinking of what would be his life if he's not like what he is right now. He thought of it until his mind drifts off to sleep.

******

Louis stirs from his sleep just as the bed dips slowly like a person is careful not to wake him up. Louis blinks away his sleep, guessing either Liam or Niall came to help him get his shit together.

Surprisingly, or not, he is met by the sight of a fluff of blonde hair tucked between his neck.

_Sam_.

Sam traces circles on the back of his hands.  _He loves it_. He loves playing with his fingers, loves tracing patterns on it and drawing silly shapes on it. He loves holding and saying his hands are the softest but Louis will argue because he always puts up a fight.

His mornings were spent by hand holding and kisses on top of each hand and Louis misses it.

He lifts his hands to ruffle his boy's hair. He plants a kiss on his head, Sam humming in response.

Louis misses him so much. Everything about him, his cooks, his terrible jokes, his beautiful eyes, his witty comebacks, his smell, his everything.  _Him_.

Louis can feel the boy stir and move a bit. He's about to look up to him and Louis is excited to see him again. Up close.

Sam lifts his chin then turns towards Louis. He's waiting for the blue to meet hazel.

But when Sam looks up, his face is wreck. Blood running his face from an open wound in his forehead.

Louis is caught off guard. He pushes himself away from him and Sam has tears in his eyes and Louis, he wants to reach out and wipe his tears. He wants to protect his boy. He wants to but he can't so he pushes himself away from him until he feels the edge of the bed. He closes his eyes and waits for the impact.

Louis sits straight from his bed. Another nightmare. He wipes his forehead using the back of his hands. He looks around, the whole room is nothing but darkness. He can't see anything so he switches his bedside lamp on.

He checks the clock. 9:15. He'd been sleeping for almost ten hours now. He feels his stomach churn. He hasn’t had any lunch or dinner either.

He walks himself to the fridge and grabs a granola bar and a bottle of water. He takes three bites of the bar then drinks half of the water. Then he throws half of the bar in the trash bin and drinks the remaining water. He sits on the stool and stares at nowhere.

He didn't want to close his eyes. If it's possible, he'll never blink. Every time he sleeps, he can see him. Every time he closes his eyes, he can feel him. Every time he tries to forget, he remembers him.

Louis is burning a hole in his fridge when he hears his phone beeped. He sits up straight and goes to locate the sound. He lifts up his jeans from yesterday and checks the back pocket.

A text message from an unknown number.

- _hi. -H x_

H? Who is H? And what are they doing in his inbox? Another text came.

- _are you still awake? Sorry i didnt text you earlier xx_

Louis quickly replies.

- _whos dis pls_

Without a minute his phone beeps as he snugs closer to his duvet.

- _the one you owe coffee to ;)_

Harry! Of course! How could he forget that white teeth, soft hands, plump lips, arms fle- man. Yes, how could he forget  _the man._

- _oh yes! Sorry abt that i tend to forget easily._

Louis returns to his stool turning his lamp off on the way. The only light in the room is coming from his phone.

- _its alright. Well, to tell you i don't forget that fast esp the cute ones. X_

Louis may or may not blushed but no one has to know. He stops himself from smiling stupidly.  _It's just a text, calm down. Control yourself._ He types out a response.

_-ive been told a lot u know but dont worry i try to not let it get to my head_

He puts his phone down. He hears his phone beeps and a few seconds later again.

_-so youre not getting a head?_

_-it to your head** my bad xx_

Louis' face turns pink but he'll never admit that. Never.

- _u cheeky bastard_

He locks his phone and stops himself from whatever he is doing. He breathes in and breathes out.

Another text came.

- _So ive been told xx_

Louis typed out a quick response.

_-stop using my words against me! get some sleep curly u dont want to be late tmrw got some kids to teach_

He locks his phone. He decides to open the window a bit to let some cold air in. He mentally battles if he should brush his teeth but decided to do it next day. He discards his jeans and shirt then folds it neatly on the chair near his closet.

He hears his phone beeped so he reaches out for it quickly.

- _you are right! goodnight louis. sleep tight. xx_

He smiles. _That stupid smile again_. He picks his yesterday jeans up and folds it neatly then places it on top of the other then picks up his hoodie and does the same.

- _goodnight harold :)_

He walks back to his bed then covers himself with the duvet. The cold air entering the room making him cuddle his blanket even more until it reaches his neck.

Louis unlocks his phone and he receives a new message. It's the emoji of the new moon with a face and an emoji of the three sparkles which he's not sure if a star or just a sparkle but it makes him smile.

He locks his phone then places it on the bedside table. He wraps himself tightly around the duvet then closes his eyes. He hopes to sleep well tonight.

Even after yesterday and what happened earlier that day, Louis sleeps with a smile on his face.

******

Next thing he knew, he is under the red sticky water. He can't see anything. His eyes are blurry. He can feel his lungs constrict and his oxygen level falling. He kicks and swims upward but it felt like there's no surface. No ending.

_It was your fault._

Louis opens his mouth to screams but no sounds came. He swallows large amount of the red liquid before he felt his heart stop beating and his chest stop-

His phone beeps.

Louis force opens his eyes. This is the fifth morning straight that he's having the same nightmare.

He runs his hands in his damp hair and he steadies his uneven breaths before he sits up straight from his bed. It's 6:30 in the morning. Louis groans. He never had a full eight hour sleep these past few days.

He reaches for the bottle in his bedside table. He figures he'll have these nights more often so he always kept a bottle of water near him.

His phone beeps again, it's Harry's tone. Well, it's not that he's anything special. Louis just likes to keep everything in order

- _hello! X_

It’s only 6am and he already has two messages.

_-good morning! rise and shine!_

With an emoji of a sun with a face on it. Louis smiles. It's been a week since they last met and they've been texting non-stop, not that he's complaining. He knows some basic details about him like his last name, which Louis laughed for good ten minutes for whatever reason, his cat's name, Dusty, and some irrelevant, totally not basic details. Harry distracts him from thinking of Sam whenever his eyes are not close.

Harry is his newfound distraction.

After a minute, he types out an appropriate response. Grinning when he presses the send button.

_-good morning too mr. styles have a wonderful day with ur students_

Louis exits the comfort of his bed and makes a beeline to the bathroom. He examines his reflection while brushing his teeth. The dark circles under his eyes are still visible but it's not that thick anymore. Yes, he's having nightmares and he often wakes up in the middle of the night sweating but there's just something about him that makes him feel okay, like something that assures him that even after the night there will always be the sun rising and waking him up.

He's afraid, more than anything, of his nightmares. He's having it for a week now and it's the same thing over and over again like falling and falling and never knowing what's at the bottom. It's scary as hell knowing that it may haunt him for the rest of his life.

He spits out the foam then rinses his mouth. It's too early for him to go outside so he figures he'll just stay and watch telly until the moon replaces the sun.

He switches off the bathroom light then closes the door behind him. He jump on his bed, making his necklace bounce and slips back under the duvet to find the remote, which is at the edge of his bed. He probably kicked it when he's sleeping because he is sure he left it at his side.

While he's browsing some channels, he hears a new text message from Harry. Louis bits his bottom lip trying to stop himself from smiling.

- _im on my way there actually but i dont think the students are awake now_

He ends the message with the thinking emoji, the one who has his pointer finger and thumb on his chin.

Louis likes new friends especially normal friends. He likes the idea of having someone who doesn't think about halos or death.

He stops at a channel with a lady showing some frying pans and telling the viewers that using it will make their foods a lot more healthier.

- _they are. half awake tho and half asleep hahaha hey dont text and drive_

He locks his phone then continues his browsing journey. He stops when he saw beauty and the beast playing at disney channel.

His phone beeps again but not the same tone as earlier. He checks it out.

- _hey! i talked to my friend last night and said that you can move in a month_

Markus.

Louis almost forgot about moving out. He tunes out of the movie and replies to him.

- _okay then. ill need some new things. i dont want to bring my ugly furnitures there_

Without a minute a new text message came. It's from Harry. Louis looks up to the television and it's the scene where Belle and beast will slow dance in the huge ballroom hall. Louis hums to the song.

He decides to wait for a few minutes before he reply, he doesn't want him to think that he's waiting for his messages  _because he's definitely not._

His phone beeps once and he's sure it's from Markus. He opens it.

- _i can help u w that haha its still 5hrs from lunch why r u up early?_

Louis laughs. Everyone knows Louis Tomlinson is never a morning person.

- _im a changed person thats all i can say_

He decides to open Harry's message. His lips twitching uncontrollably to a small smile.

- _aww lou, youre concern now? dont worry im not driving! Xx_

Louis types out a message but waits a few more seconds before sending it. He waited enough, he thinks.

- _got urself a driver? how is it living the posh life?_

Louis looks back to the movie. The people are now barging into beast's castle. He's watching intently when he hears his phone ring.

He looks at the caller ID and Louis can't help but grin.

"I am not posh. My mom gave me a lift that's why." Harry greets with his deep, raspy morning voice. Louis doubts he took a shower. "Mum's posh, not me." He hears a snort from the other line. Definitely not Harry's.

"Are you seriously talking about your mother while you are seated beside her and you're riding her car? With a driver?"

"Well, yes. Yes I am." He can feel Harry smile from the other line. If it's the smile with a lip bite, he swears to all the gods.

"That's impolite Harry." He scolds but with a pinch of teasing. "Don't talk to your mother like that." Louis keeps himself from laughing.

"Okay, daddy." He can feel Harry's sexy smirked. Someone throws a fit of cough on the other line. Damn, that escalated quickly. Louis almost drops his phone.

A moment of silence before Louis clears his throat.

"What the-’

"Oh! We're here! Talk to you later, Lou." Harry says cheerfully. As if nothing happened a while ago. Bastard. "Goodbye! Have a nice day!"

Then he hungs up and Louis stays there motionless. He'll be lying if he say Harry is not his type, he'll be lying if he say he got laid recently but he won't be lying if he say, he's not looking for anything. Harry is a friend. He doesn't want to ruin that plus he doesn't want to risk it.

After he regained his mental stableness, he texts Harry asap.

- _you are a cheeky bastard styles!!!!_

He sends it then locks his phone. He hums to the song as the movie ends.

The whole morning to afternoon had been composed of Louis eating whatever he can eat at his fridge and whatever he can find in his drawers.

His trash bin is full of chip wrappers and soda cans. He's been burping a lot more than expected today.

He tries to stay awake the rest of the day so he sits on the floor with chips around him and focused on the telly as he keeps himself off the bed. He doesn't want any nightmares today. Hopefully not tonight which, he knows, is a wishful thinking.

When the sun finally set, it's his cue to go out and shop some food for himself. He walks to the bathroom and turns the lights on.

He turns the showers on, discards his jeans and steps into the tub. He rubs himself using the soap then put some shampoo on his hand then scrubs his scalp.

He notices that his shampoo smells like cucumber. He's been using it for a month now and he's only discovering it. He probably just snatched it from the rack that labeled as 'Shampoos'.

After scrubbing his scalp, he rinses himself clean then steps out of the tub. He walks to the mirror then brushes his teeth while humming to Tale As Old As Time. He gargles clean water after spitting the foam then wipes his mouth using the clean towel beside him. He then wraps it around his waist.

He goes for jean shorts, a white v-neck shirt and a red adidas jacket. He walks to the bed then stops on his tracks.

"AHA!" He points to the crooked wood in his floor, trying to stop himself from laughing. "I will not fall for you this time!"

He slips on his clothes and reaches out for his vans under the bed then he grabs his phone. Harry hasn’t reply to him since his last text, he figures he's having a busy day and he doesn't want to be a bother.

He opens the top drawer then fishes out his wallet. He pockets his phone and his wallet at his back.

Before walking out he decides to take the trash out so he grabs some plastic at his bottom drawer then he lifts the bin then shakes the trashes down the garbage plastic. He takes one last look to his room before he walks outside and locks it, the plastic in his left hand.

He walks down the hall and the stairs, the floor creaking under his shoes. He spots his landlord on the front door. Louis sighs. Only a month and he'll never see him again.

"Louis!" Dave greets cheerily. He’s smiling so big his crooked teeth is showing.

"Sorry, Dave! Got to go somewhere!" He chirps while he ran to the door and into the street, laughing when he rounds the corner.

It’s gonna be a good day.. or night.

A few people are walking down the streets. He can see various colors on top of their heads. A girl with a backpack and earphones tucked in her ears is walking side by side with Louis. She's staring straight ahead and feeling the music from her phone. She has a green halo on top of head and Louis can't help but smile.

He knows he shouldn't be thinking about Sam but he can't help but remember how they met.

It was one of the cold nights of January. He was walking down the street and just like the girl, Sam was walking side by side with him. They had small talk and as if destiny was doing her way, they both headed the same way.

They talked about the weather and the new movie releases. They talked about the stars and how they were made. They talked about anything and everything that they both walked past their destinations. They laughed it off then rode the subway.

Louis thought it was the best date ever. It was and it's still is.

He rides the bus. He smiles at the driver who has an orange halo. He looks around the bus and there’s a few people sitting at the back.

On the left side of the bus, fifth seat, is an old couple who has both yellow halos on their head, behind them is a girl reading a book with a green halo, parallel to the girl are two boys talking and laughing and both have green halos.

Louis sits on the right side of the bus. He leans his head on the glass window and watches as the buildings and people fade away.

His phone beeps twice. He fishes it out of his jeans then slides his thumb across it.

A text from Niall and Liam. He first opens the text from Niall.

_-the eye tomorrow?_

Louis furrows his brows. They'll probably talk about something. Louis types out a response.

_-sure! what time?_

He closes his conversation with Niall then opens Liam's.

He hasn't talked to him since their fight. He's not mad or upset anymore he's just afraid of reaching out.

_-hey, hoping we could talk soon. sorry lou._

He sighs then taps the letters on his keyboards. He'd be lying if he say he doesn't miss him.

- _yeah sure. its okay. lets talk soon. sorry li._

He leans against his seat then pockets his phone back. The girl reading a book hops out the bus but a man, with an orange halo, replaces her right away.

His phone beeps. He opens the message from Liam.

- _pick you up tomorrow? we could go together to the eye._

Louis' lip twitches to a smile. Liam is the most understanding person he ever met.

_-yeah sure_.

Louis sees his stop so he stands from his seat and thanks the driver then hops out the bus.

He walks a few blocks until he sees the grocery. Finally.

People are pouring out the glass doors. All of them with grocery bags or paper bags in hands and so far, no signs of red halos which is good.

He pushes open the glass. There aren’t a lot of people doing their groceries at 7 in the evening. He only has less than two hours to get whatever he needs. On his right are the rows of cashiers and people wearing blue and white uniforms.

He walks to a mass of carts. He pulls one then enters the racks and racks of human necessities.

First aisle he enters is the laundry detergents, which reminds him that he needs to do his laundry. He doesn't have anything to do in this aisle since he does his laundry duties outside. So he pushes his cart faster to the next racks which are filled with bathroom things.

 

**(Song: Eleven - Sunday Moon)**

He rounds the corner and sees a familiar bunch of curls. He is wearing a navy blue trench coat and his back against to him. He furrows his brows to make sure it's him then calls him.

"Harry!" Louis grins then pushes towards him. Harry, on the other hand, is caught off guard then quickly pulls everything in the rack in front of him to his cart.

He is wearing a dark skinny jeans that makes his legs look like miles and a white shirt that dipped too low for Louis' liking, not to mention his golden boots. Louis feels underdress.

Harry slowly turns to him. "Are you stalking me?" He says with his brows furrowed but his lips twitches into a smile.

For the first time, he can see a green halo on top of his head and Louis has never been so relief.

Louis waves to him then laughs. "I believe not." Their push carts side by side. "So... tampons?" He props his elbows to the handle then tilt his head. Harry blushes.

"Oh! It is for my.... sister- yeah, my sister." Harry says while biting his lips and scratching the back of his head.

"It's alright! No need to be embarrass, curly. It's normal." He's smiling so wide he could feel his face break in half. "I didn't know you have a sister..."

"I forgot to tell you but she's older than me." Harry turns to him. Louis nods.

They walk further to the aisle. Silence reigns, the good kind of silence, of course. Louis slows down to get a random shampoo but Harry stops him by holding onto his wrist. Louis looks to Harry then to his burning wrist.

"I think strawberry suits you." He says while smiling with his bottom lips trap between his teeth.  _Damn_.

Louis looks back to the racks and notices that he's reaching out for a cucumber one.

Harry's hand left Louis' skin warm. He stares at his wrist for a second before he realizes Harry is handing him a strawberry one.

"Thank you." Louis accepts the shampoo then looks down to his cart. He's blushing but he'll never admit.

Louis walks faster leaving Harry behind him. He fishes out what he needs in that aisle. Soap, toothpaste, shaving cream and some tissue rolls.

He rounds the next aisle. The racks are full of boxes and boxes of cereals and bags and bags of chips at the other end. Louis felt like he just reached heaven.

"This is what I call heaven!" Louis walks further in the aisle and Harry is laughing behind him. He saw a girl on the other end of the rack with an orange halo in her head.

He continues his quest stopping at a box of fruit loops. He picks out one.

"Don't tell me this is what you call breakfast?" Harry snorts behind him. His cart has nothing but boxes of tampons.

"Yes, Mr. Posh. Some people can't cook without setting their house on fire." He turns to Harry then walks passed him to the direction of the chips.

"Oh my God! Are you serious?" He exclaims then laughs so hard Louis wishes he'll choke. Or maybe not.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Shut up. I live my whole life eating cereals for occasional breakfasts and lunch and and I'm still alive."  _Lie_. Sam used to cook his breakfast and lunch.  _Used to._

Harry stops laughing then catches up to Louis. "I can teach you if you want?"

"You cook?" Harry nods eagerly. "What? No personal chef then?" Louis says smirking.

He stops and puts two bags of chips on his car then walks a few steps to get another one. Harry watches him.

"No. Actually... I'm planning to move out. Like I should've move out a long time ago."

Louis snatches out another before they turned to the next aisle.

"Where will you move?" Louis asks while putting a box of milk in his cart. He offers one to Harry but he shakes his head.

"No idea yet." Harry shrugs.

They walk past the breads then heads to the next aisle where he spots a thick blonde hair.

"Niall?" He calls out, furrowing his brows. "Jade?"

Both turn then wave at him. The pair walk to them pushing their cart.  _Their_.

"Louis!" Niall leaves his cart then hugs him. "It's been three weeks since I last saw you!"

"Where have you been?" Jade asks while they bump cheeks. She looks lovely with her coat.

"Just... just walking around somewhere." Louis scratches the back of his head.

Harry clears his throat. The three turn their eyes to him. "Hi."

Louis almost forgot Harry is with him. "Oh shit right! Sorry! So Niall, Jade, this is Harry. Harry, this is Niall and Jade." He points to them. He is smiling so bright like Harry. Jade and Niall look at him as if asking the underlying question.

Looks like Harry can read their minds, he opens his mouth to speak. "I'm Louis' friend." He clasps his hands in front of him.

"Us too." Niall smiles then turns to Louis. "It's nice to see you're trying to make new friends again!" He chirps.

Louis rolls his eyes.

"I think we should finish our list, Niall. We only have less than an hour." Jade says while squeezing Niall's arm.

"Oh! Yes! Of course!" Niall exclaims as if he finally gets the answer to one of the world's mystery.

"Bye Louis, bye Harry!" Jade chirps then they both continue walking. Louis doesn’t miss the "they look so cute" and a giggle from Jade.

Louis shakes his head. His friends are downright crazy.

Harry smirks but Louis continues walking. They go from aisle to aisle. Louis' cart is half full but Harry's is still consists of tampons and a bottle of lotion that he insisted Louis should buy but he refused so Harry took it.

Louis opens a fridge of beer cans before they go to the counter and pay. The girl, with a yellow halo, punches his purchases then he hands her some bills. Harry is waiting for him.

"So, I guess this is goodbye?" Harry says with a playful smile on his face.

Louis turns his head to him. "Nuh-uh." He says shaking his head. His lips twitching to a smile. "I bought some of these, remember?" He lifts the beer of cans.

Harry laughs. "And where will we drink that?"

"Parking?" They reach the doors. Harry steps forward then opens the door for him, Louis murmurs a 'thank you'. "We could just stay there."

They step off the store and is greeted by the cold breeze, behind them the lights go off. They are the last people inside.

"Or we could stay in my truck." Harry points to a Ford pick-up car. It's the only car in the lot.

Harry walks in front of him. He runs to his car. His coat flying and his curls dancing with the breeze. Louis has never seen something so beautiful in a long time.

Harry walks behind his car and does something Louis couldn't see. When he reached it, Harry has a duvet sprawled in the trunk.

"You're not ready for this, are you?" Louis lifts his bags to the trunk. Harry reaches for his hands to help him.

"Definitely not!" Harry laughs. They sat in the duvet. Louis reaches out for the bags then lifts the cans out. "I don't have anything to contribute to our mini-picnic." Harry pouts. Louis wants to punch him.

 

**(Song: One Day At A Time- Sam Smith)**

Louis looks at the sky. It's dark as fuck but the stars are shining so bright. Then he looks at Harry, who is looking at the stars too. It's only the second time he saw him but he's so much beautiful up close. Something that Louis will never admit.

"So, Mr. Styles." He says while offering Harry a can, he accepts it. "Tell me more about you that doesn't involve your cat."

Harry swats his arms. "Hey! She's cute!" He looks at him and Louis feels his breath hitched. "Well, I'm Harry Styles and I- uh- I'm 24 turning 25 on February 1 and-"

"February 1? My birthday's January 31!" Harry's eyes is shining and Louis isn't sure if he's still sober. "Turning 26! Okay.. continue."

"Okay, so I- uhhh- I'm a school teacher. I love kids too! I- uh- love strawberries-" Louis felt his cheeks blush. Thank God, it's dark. The lamp post is a few meters away but still illuminates them. "I want to be a doctor when I was young but figured that's still a long way so I decided to switch in this field."

Louis nods, not saying anything. He wants to know more about him.  _That's normal for friends, right?_ He takes a sip on his can.

"And I- uhh- had a few boyfriends before but it didn’t really work out." He bites his lips. He takes a sip on his own can. Louis watches him wipe his mouth using the back of his hands.

How could someone let him go? Like that's some level of absurdity.

"Don't worry, curly. It's their loss not yours." He smiles at him, taking a swig of his own can. Harry does the same. He's literally bouncing in his seat.

"How about you, Louis? Tell me about you." He pokes Louis' side making the boy giggle.

"Well..." He trails, not knowing where to start. He can't tell him the truth but he'll try to not make everything a lie, at least.. "As I told you before, I inherited some shits from my dad."  _False_. "I never met my biological mom, I lived with my stepmom because my dad was away my whole life."   _Half true, half false_. "I have no siblings."  _True_. "I live in a cheap flat because I don't want to spend too much of my money."   _True_. "Well, my birthday is on January 31."   _False_. It's the date when he became a seer. December 24 is his real birthday.

Harry turns his body to Louis then leans against the side of the trunk. He listens to Louis intently, afraid of missing any words he'll say. Louis feels bad for lying. He, himself, doesn't like liars.

He continues. "Well, I have some friends, Niall, Jade-" Harry nods, knowing who they are. "-Markus, and Liam. I consider them my family since I have no contact with my stepmum anymore."  _True_.

Harry looks at him as if waiting for something. Louis bites his lips.

"Well, I- uh- I never had a lot of boyfriends. Just one." He drinks his beer straight, wipes his mouth then threw the beer can across the parking. The only sound that can be heard for a moment.

He smiles at Harry, reassuring him that everything's okay.

"It's alright. You don't have to-"

"He died." The words feel heavy on Louis' tongue. He doesn't have any idea why he is telling it to Harry but something about him assures Louis that he can be trusted.

He's not one to trust people easily. It took him a weeks before he trusted Markus to teach him the basics about being a seer. It took him a month before he trusted Niall to get him a drink or a plate. It took him a year before he trusted Liam about what's happening between him and Sam. But it only took him less than a week before he is spilling his darkest secrets to Harry.

"Louis..." Harry puts his can down and reaches out to Louis arms. He leans in to his touch.

Louis opens a new can. The sound of his beer is deafening. The lights of the store long out. The parking is illuminated by one lamp post. The cold breeze hugging their skins. Harry's curls flew to his face. Louis thinks it's adorable.

"A car run over him. I was too slow to save him." He drinks his beer in one swig. "That was five years ago. Hey, will you drink the other can? Can I have it?"

Harry doesn’t say anything but he shakes his head in response. His hand gripping tightly in Louis' arm. He feels like it'll leave mark.

"I'm sorry, Lou. I shouldn't- I- I'm sorry to hear that. It must've been really hard for you." He withdraws his hands but all Louis wanted is to snatch it back and keep it close to him.

Harry calms him, for an unknown reason. He doesn't even know him that much, for god's sake.

He takes the last can then drinks the half of it in one go. Harry wraps his fingers around his can. No one talks for a moment. The only sound that can be heard is the sound of their sync breaths.

"It was the hardest time of my life. It's still is." He brings his legs then propped his arms on his knees. Harry does the same.

"H-how does it feel? Like losing someone?" Harry asks, his voice shaking. He's not looking at Louis.

"It's like you're dead but you're breathing. It's like you're drowning even in the most shallow part of the ocean. It's like being alive but not really caring anymore."

They stay silent for a long time. No one dares to break the silence. Harry sips on his can then leaves it on his side. Louis drinks all the beer then throwing it across the lot.

"How about you Harry? Have you ever lost someone?" Louis glances at him. He's staring right back at Louis. Blue meets green. Oceans meet the forests.

"No." He's looking straight to his eyes. His burning stare cause Louis to look away from him. "I have no plans on losing anyone."

"Good for you. Well, I think it's kind of late, don't you think?" Louis checks his watch. 10:03.

Harry smiles at him, breaking all the tensions between them. "Yes, I think so. Let me drop you to your place."

"That's a great idea. I'd love that."

The pair jump off the trunk. Harry, once again, opens Louis' door before he comfortably sits on the driver's side.

The rest of the ride is silent aside from Louis giving directions to Harry. As usual, it's the kind of silence he likes. The kind of silence he needs.

When they're in front of Louis' building, both jump off the car. Harry gets Louis his bags then walks him to the door, humming some unfamiliar song.

"So, this is it?" Harry is the first one to speak. He hands Louis his purchases. "Thank you for tonight."

"No, thank you." Louis says, smiling. For once, he forgot about his problems. For once, he told someone about his darkest nightmare. "I'll see you next time then."

"Yeah, of course." Harry tries not to sound so eager but miserably failing making Louis smirk. “Can’t get rid of me now that easily.”

"Goodnight, curly. Drive safely." Louis opens the door, struggling a bit because of the bags on his arms. Harry stands there with his right foot cross to his left.

Louis waits for a minute before he closes the door but is stopped by Harry midway.

"Wait! I- uhhh-" His eyes not meeting Louis. "I-if you need someone to talk to, I'm here." Their eyes meet. Louis wants to get lost in it.

"Thank you." Louis says with his most sincere voice. He smiles fondly at him.

"Okay. Goodnight, Louis." He says then turns his back on. Louis stands there watching Harry's car fade away.

He climbs the stairs then unlocks his doors. He leaves his purchases on the countertop where it will stay for a week. He jumps to his bed and sprawls his arms out.

Harry is something, he knows. He's an idiot not to think of that but the question is, is he ready? To fall again? What about Sam? What if it happen again?

These are the questions that haunted him as he brushed his teeth and slipped on his duvet with his boxers and his necklace.

The questions that will haunt him for the rest of the night. Or maybe the week.

******

5:45 a.m.

Louis' body is glistening with sweat. His chest heaving with his uneven breaths.  _Another nightmare_. He wonders when will it stop. Maybe never.

He sits straight on his bed then leans back on his headboard. He's still trying to control his breath. He reaches out to his phone and texts Liam.

_-what time will u pick me up?_

He walks to his window then opens it, letting some fresh air in. He doesn’t notice anyone in the streets.

He decides to take a shower. He opens his bag then fishes out the new shampoo he bought.

He steps into the tub then opens the shower. He squeezes a right amount of strawberry-flavored shampoo in his hair then scrubs his scalp thoroughly. He quickly rinses himself then he steps out of the tub wearing his boxers again. He rubs a clean towel on his hair then switches the lights off. He jumps back to his bed, smelling like a freshly-picked strawberry. He closes his eyes and tries to sleep again.

Louis stirs from his sleep. He peeks on his one eye to check his surrounding. His room is illuminated by the sun, beams of light houses in his room making him groan.

Louis sits up straight. He checks the clock. 7:30. Not bad.

He breathes a sigh of relief and reaches out to his phone, almost knocking a bottle on his table, then slides his thumb across it. He openes his messages. He got one from Liam and one from Harry. He decides to open Liam's first.

-9:30

He still have two hours left so he decides to eat breakfast. He fishes out one of his cereals, pours it on a bowl, opens his milk then puts a quite amount then reaches out for the spoon.

He takes a spoonful of fruit loops then he opens Harry's message.

_-good morning from me and dusty_

With a picture of his cat attached to it. Louis can't help but smile, mouth full of cereals. Recently, Harry is making his mornings good. He's thankful.

He immediately replies even though the message was sent an hour ago.

- _good morning too from me and my cereal_

He takes a selfie of him with his bowl then presses send. He looks at his message before he locks it and continue his eating.

Two hours later, Liam is on his building and he is flying down the stairs with his adidas shoes, a black skinny jeans and yellow nike shirt. His necklace bouncing on his chest.

"Hey!" Liam calls out then waves to him.

Louis waves back.

"About last time-"

"Li, it's nothing. I'm sorry I was just really frustrated and all. Plus you were right. I'm sorry." He reaches out to Liam's arm.

"I'm sorry too. I was a dick and I didn't help you at all." Liam smiles apologetically.

"Apology accepted." Louis grins making the tension subside.

"C'mon then, don’t want to keep them waiting." Liam chuckles then walks to the driver's side while Louis sits on the passenger.

They made some small talk, catching up with the week. Louis decides not to mention Harry.

The halos outside are oddly satisfying. It's a sea of green and orange for today. A good start for the day. He hopes it will continue.

They reach the building. Liam knocks on the door three times.

"This place is so dusty." Liam says right before Louis sneezes, both boys laugh.

They walk to the vase then say the words. The spin wasn't long and sickening and when they reach the same door but different dimension, Niall greets them with a grin.

"Lads! Just in time!" Niall steps out the way and the boys walk inside. Laura is on the sofa with Leigh. They both wave to him.

“Niall, I’m starting to think you are the God of door in this building.” Louis says making both Niall and Liam laugh.

"Long time no see, Tommo!" Leila greets. She looks lovely with her crop top and skinny jeans.

"Yeah! How are you?" Louis asks, referring to both girls.

"Great!" Leila exclaims. Laura is smiling up to him. "Me too!" She chirps.

He excuses himself then walks to the kitchen where they are huddled. Liam is sitting beside Niall. Jade is seated beside Markus and across Niall.

"What's the issue to be discuss?" Louis says as he opened the fridge to get some water.

"Annual Gathering!" Jade screams. She's really excited about it. Typical Jade. She always wants to get the best dress award. And she always do.

Niall smiles fondly at her. "That's like three months away." He turns to Louis. "Hey, that Harry guy is cute."

Liam, Markus, Laura and Leila who just walk in the room turn to look at him.

Louis feels his cheeks burned.

"Who is Harry?" Liam asks, standing up. "You never mentioned him earlier?"

"Are you dating again?" Markus sounds hopeful. The two girls just stared at him waiting for his answer.

He looks to Jade for some help but she's busy swatting Niall.

"Harry is a friend. My new friend. I'm not dating anyone so please drop it." He closes the fridge too hard. The room fell silent. Everyone nods at him. "So, the gathering?"

"It will be held February 2." The day after Harry's birthday. "It's a bit earlier than expected."

"So, you all will attend?" He asks everyone. Jade eagerly nods, as if he doesn't know. Niall and Liam look at each other then shrug. Markus and Leila answer with a 'yeah'. Laura, for the first time, doesn’t shake her head.

"It's been three years since you last attended, Lou. Have some fun!" Liam says, the others nodding along.

He thinks about the last three years he didn't attend because he's tired of putting a face and pretending he's okay. But maybe this time, he can try again.

Louis nods. "Yeah sure." He’s got nothing to lose. Niall hoots making the others laugh and Louis rolls his eyes.

They spent a day in there.and didn't bother bringing up Harry. They talked about anything. They watched movie and cuddled each other on the sofa until the sun completely set.

He received five messages from Harry explaining the harmful effects of eating cereals everyday. He also has three messages with a link of funny cat videos and a screenshot of his conversation with his friend.

Louis doesn’t even notice he's smiling so wide until Liam pokes his cheeks.

"Hey, watchu reading about that makes you smile so wide?" Liam grins, glancing at him then back to the road.

"It's nothing." He blushes then pockets his phone back. He clasps his hands on his thighs then looks outside the window, where green, orange and yellow halos are on top of people's head, with a stupid smile on his face.

"Okay. I'll leave you and pretend I didn't see that blush. I know you'll tell me if there's something." Liam hums. Louis glances at him with a soft smile.

Liam drops him off then speeds off to the opposite direction. He said he has things to do.

He reaches his room. He forgot to close his window again for the nth time. He sits on his bed and takes off his shoes then slides it under the bed. He hears his phone beep.

_-why are cats so grumpy?_

Louis almost laughs. Harry is so adorable.  _Why?_ A new text message came.

_-dont tell dusty i said that. please._

Louis smiles so wide, his face hurt. Harry just makes him so happy in the most simple ways.

Harry makes him forget Sam even for a day.

******

The weatherman advised everyone to stay home for the rest of the day. It's been two weeks since he saw the boys. A week since he last saw Harry. They went to see a movie a few days after the parking lot scene. Louis repeatedly told himself that it's not a date.

They've been texting non-stop for the past weeks and they had some routine where Harry calls him every 9 o'clock. One of them always ends up sleeping, mostly Harry, so they've memorize each other breaths while sleeping.

Oddly, ever since Harry offered to call every night, his nightmares reduced a bit. He can sleep well for some nights and it also changed to less intense dreams.

He takes it as something coincidental because he doesn't really want to put so much faith in Harry. It's still too early.

Louis knows they are not kids anymore. They can just straight up say how they feel to someone. They can either go with it or get over it. They are adults. No time for puppy loves.

The forecast for today says that heavy rains should be expected and everyone should stay inside their houses.

Louis closes his windows. The raindrops are knocking non-stop on it. He opens a chip then cuddle under his duvet. The only light is coming from his telly.

While he is watching some breaking bad reruns, he hears his phone beep. From Harry.

- _hey, my car broke down and i have no idea how i'll get home and i miraculously landed on your street. can i come over?_

Louis immediately calls him. Worry is written across his face. It only took two rings.

"Hey, where are you?" He asks worriedly. It's raining really hard and you'll probably freeze to death outside.

"Here in your front door." He replies. He can feel him smiling.

"What?! Wait! I'll buzz you in." He runs and immediately buzzes Harry in.

"Thank you."

Louis hangs up then opens his door, waiting for Harry. He saw him round the hall.

He is soaking wet. His curls are dripping. His shirt is sticking on his tummy. He is literally so wet...  _and hot._

"What the fuck did you do? Didn't you hear what the weatherman said?" He half-asks, half-shouts him as soon as they're face to face.

"Aren't you going to let me in first?" Harry laughs. He runs his hand on his hair then ruffles it. Did tarzan decide to live in London? Because he is literally a Disney Prince.  _And maybe a princess too._

Louis steps aside letting Harry in. "Go straight to the bathroom. I'll look for some shirt I can lend you."

"Yes sir!" Lifting his hands to his brows then saluting to him. He goes straight to the bathroom while Louis rummages in his clothes. He finds a shirt that's a bit oversized on him then pulls out a clean pair of sweatpants and boxers. It should work.

He walks to the bathroom door then knocks. "Harry, here's the-"

Harry opens the door nothing but his boxers on. Louis' cheeks flush. Harry has toned abs. He notices that a while ago when his shirt is sticking to him but it's different in real life- like- no shirts and all. Louis stops himself from drooling.

"Here." He hands him the clothes, not meeting his eyes.

"Thank you." He accepts it then closed the door. Louis releases a breath he didn't know he's holding.

He sits on his bed then changes the channel to some celebrity gossip show. He places his chips on the drawer then flattens the crumpled duvet. He fixes the pillows then put it near the headboard. Good thing he cleaned the room earlier that day.

Louis hears the bathroom door opened, revealing a freshly showered Harry. Louis can smell his strawberry shampoo even from the bed.

"Thank you for letting me in. I would be damn if you were out and all." He laughs then walks to the bed. Louis pat the place beside him. Harry sat beside him.

"S'alright. I don't usually go out especially if the forecaster said so." Louis' lips twitches to a smile. Because really, he can't help but smile whenever Harry's around.

"I didn't watch the news!" Harry defends himself, holding his hands up and grinning. Louis is so endeared.

"I don't think you need to watch the telly to know that-" Louis glances at the window. The rain doesn't have any signs of stopping.

He looks back at Harry. He is already staring at him with the most beautiful shade of green in his eyes.

And for a moment, nothing mattered but his stare.

A loud thunder resonates the whole London, making Louis jumped into Harry's side. He looks up to him. Harry's still staring like admiring the art in front of him. Louis thinks it's the other way around.

He scoots away from him. "So, what do you want to do? Do you wanna eat?" He stands from the bed then walks to his mini kitchen. "Although I do not have anything edible aside from the last bag of chip."

Harry laughs. "I think that will do." He crawls to the middle of the bed then leans against the headboard. Louis furrows his brows. "What? Don't you want cuddles?" He asks pouting.

Louis smiles so wide, his face almost breaks in half. He grabs his last chips then jumps in the bed and made himself comfortable. His back against Harry's chest. His head under his chin. Harry's arms are draped around his stomach. Their feet touching each other.

Harry is smiling so wide when Louis looks up to him. He turns back to the telly with a stupid grin. They watch some spy movie but no one's really paying attention.

 

**(Song: Memo - Years & Years)**

Harry is something Louis can’t quite figure out. Louis thinks he is some kind of a drug that slowly entering his bloodstream. Harry is a fire starting to burn Louis. And he may or may not be ready for it.

Eventually, their legs are tangled together. Harry's nose is dipping on Louis' ears. He can hear him hum making Louis giggle.

"You're tickling me." He turns his head away from him.

"You smell like strawberries." He says grinning. His eyes are literally shining. Louis can't help but think how cute he is wearing his shirt.

“It's you who picked that shampoo!" Louis rolls his eyes but his lips forming a fond smile.

"But you let me and you used it." Harry teases. His voice sounds like honey. So sweet and so sticky. It clings on Louis' ears and stays there for a long time.

"Shut up." He turns his back on Harry then lands with an oomf in Harry's chest. He wraps his arms around him. Louis sighs in content.

Harry is unlike the storm. He came in unnoticed. He came without a warning and Louis is caught off guard that he doesn’t know what to do. Harry is slowly picking his pieces up. Harry is trying to mend him. He’s mending him without him even knowing it.

They stayed there for a little while until they both can't keep their eyes open. They slip in the duvet. Louis spooning Harry.

"Lou." Harry calls out. He can't really see him aside from his bunch of curls that Louis let his nose dive in. He can smell strawberries. Maybe strawberries is his new fave.

"Hmm?" Louis hums in response.

"You know..." He trails, he can feel him biting his lips. Harry's hand grips Louis' arm. "I fancy you, right? Like, I wouldn't be here if I'm not."

Louis knows but he doesn't know what he feels.

"Harry, I don't think-"

"Shh. I know, it's okay." He runs his hands on Louis' arms. Louis wiggles his nose further into his hair. He just wants to get lost in it. “I understand.”

They stay silent for a moment.

Louis isn’t really closing any doors. No, not for Harry. He’s just something Louis isn’t expecting and now he doesn’t know how to act. It’s just that it’s been so long that Louis feels like he got used to being alone and feeling empty. He learned how to sit in the corner alone.

But Harry, he is different. It’s like he is trying to help him stand again in his own. And Louis knows,  _he knows_ , that it’s too soon, too early to have so much faith in him. Harry is an amazing person and Louis doesn’t want to ruin him, too.

"Hey, Harry?" He whispers in his ears. He doesn't know if he is still awake but he tries anyway.

"Hmm?" Harry replies with a hum.

"I'm moving next week and I'm looking for some new things. I was wondering if you can-" Louis props his elbows to his pillow, trying to peek at Harry.

Harry turns to him. His eyes are half open but his lips is twitching to a small smile.

"Yes, yes." He is cut off by Harry's eager nod. He almost laughs. He is about to say something but the curly boy is already snoring peacefully.

Louis stares at him for a moment. He tries to keep his hands from tracing Harry's features but miserably failing.

_It's been a long time since he is completely mesmerized by someone._

He traces his nose and his eyelids that hide the most beautiful green eyes he’s ever seen. He fixes a strand of his hair and tucks it behind his ear. Louis can do this all day, hell, he will never even get tired of staring at him.

Louis knows he shouldn’t fall for him and knows that it’s selfish but sometimes he just can’t help himself. He’s just tired of being on his own.

Harry stirs and turns away from Louis, giving him the opportunity to spoon the boy. Louis scoots to him until Harry's back touches his chest. He puts his hands around him then tucks his nose between Harry's neck, sniffing his scent.

Louis slept without any nightmares visiting him. He slept peacefully with the curly-haired boy he met not even a month ago. He could be a serial killer but he doesn't really care right now.

And after five years, Louis felt like he is not alone.

 

 


End file.
